What Our Christmas Card Should Have Said {Bless the Lord O My Soul}

Photo credit: KC Knoop Photography

This year has probably been our most challenging yet. We dealt with miscarriage, parenting a toddler, a complicated pregnancy, moving overseas, depression, two months apart, a child undergoing surgery, preterm labor followed by two weeks with a premie in the NICU, and a major, still unresolved bout of pneumonia that almost resulted in spending Christmas in the hospital recovering from urgent open-chest surgery.  So it has been a little rough here and there! However, despite the challenges we have been immeasurably blessed to see God's hand at work through every single situation. And the challenges have spurred growth in us unlike any other time in our lives.

As this year comes to a close, I have been reflecting on all that I have learned throughout this year and wanted to share a few of those lessons. {The links above and included throughout in orange are other blog posts from throughout the year that go into greater detail}

Lesson 1: Show Grace
This year, with all it's challenges has taught me to show grace.  I have needed lots of grace this year particularly from my husband who had to put up with me when I was not a very happy camper as a sick, pregnant insomniac living overseas where I hated just about everything. My husband never let on to how insufferable I was and instead showed endless support, love and sympathy when what I deserved was a swift kick in the tush and a "get over it." I can't tell you how much this makes me appreciate my husband! I knew I was being insufferable and felt like I couldn't help it. Had he given me what I deserved I would have felt defeated, but because he showed grace, he motivated and empowered me to get through a difficult season in my life. Experiencing the power of grace to lovingly change me into a better person has taught me how important it is for me to offer that same loving grace to others, God knows we all need it!

Lesson 2: Practice Humility
I am one of those women who likes to think she can "do it all" and this year I learned that I most certainly cannot. I don't like needing help or having to ask for help, but this year I had to. As it turns out, admitting that I need help and gratefully accepting help can actually build relationships. Vulnerability can be difficult, but it creates some of the strongest bonds.  I have been blessed by a wonderful husband and friends that have been so loving and gracious and have gone out of their way to help me when I've needed it.  I feel so much freedom in knowing that I don't have to always having it all together and be able to do it all myself.

Lesson 3: Remember Joy is Not Circumstantial
God is good. All the time.  He has been with me through every situation good and bad and I have found joy in His presence regardless of what I have gone through.

Lesson 4: The Power of Prayer
This year I have learned a lot about prayer and now treasure the intimate communication with God. I have learned that prayer is less about what I am asking for and more about how God is going to use those things which are near to my heart to teach me and those I love. In the quiet moments when I am open and vulnerable before Him, when I am actually listening, not just talking, He ministers to my heart giving me peace regardless of the outcome and teaching me to have a perspective and attitude more like Him.

Lesson 5: Parenting is a Huge Responsibility and a Huge Privilege
Parenting a toddler for the first time this year really drove these lessons home. I have been on the verge of pulling my hair out at times but the experience of parenting a toddler has taught me so much about myself and challenged me in ways I never thought possible. As Q has become more independent and verbal we have seen the fruit of our parenting labor which sometimes makes us proud and is very often convicting. While I have learned that he is his own person and thus, I cannot {and should not try to} control him, it is a huge responsibility being his greatest role model and seeing the ways in which he mimics me. It is such a privilege to be allowed to raise these precious children whom, though God loves  more than I ever could {unfathomable}, He still allows an imperfect me to parent them and experience all the joy that comes with that.

Lesson 6: Life is Not All About Comfort
As this year draws to a close I am constantly reminded of the many blessings in my life, especially in contrast to the challenges we've been through this year. I am blessed by a gracious and loving husband, the health of myself and my family, financial security that allows me to be a stay-at-home-mom as well as enjoy many comforts in life. Yet, it has been the challenges this year that have pushed me to grow which has me contemplating whether we are really meant to be so comfortable? My inkling is no... We'll see how that plays out in 2013...

The sun comes up, its a new day dawning

It's time to sing Your song again

Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me

Let me be singing when the evening comes

Bless the Lord O my soul, O my soul, Worship His holy name

Sing like never before, O my soul, I'll worship Your holy name

~Matt Redman "10,000 Reasons"