A week ago my family boarded a plane and flew to our new home in Hawaii! My husband and I have lived here before and are so excited to share the experience of living in one of our favorite places with our two children. I can hardly believe we actually live here again. It is something we have been hoping for pretty much ever since we left several years back and it is a dream come true!
It has been a busy week since arriving. We settled into our hotel room, bought a car, got the dogs through the quarantine process, visited a new preschool for our children, walked through the house we are in the ironically long "short-sale" process of buying, went to see a rental property, finished my teaching application, were hailed into Sam's new wardroom, and reconnected with old friends. Plus we have made a little time for taking the kids to the beach, pool, and park of course! And we have been enjoying running outside around Ford Island in the beautiful weather.
As happy and content as we already are here, even without a place to live, we still have lots of decisions and transitions on the immediate horizon. Sam is preparing to go underway for awhile very soon, which will be a first for our children. We are trying to decide whether to continue the short-sale process or to rent a beach house instead; both options with distinct benefits and drawbacks making it very difficult to chose. I am applying for teaching positions with the hope of returning to work in the coming school year, also a first for our children. So pretty much everything in life is about to change one way or another.
God's timing is so amazing to me though! As our family is clearly in transition, our family devotions through IF:Equip are on the Book of Acts which is about the early church in transition. I am loving how God is reminding me that He is in control and He will work everything out for His glory.
Acts 1:7-8 says, "He [Jesus] said to them, 'It is not for you to know times or epochs which the Father has fixed by His own authority; but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth.'"
I love that! It is not for me to know God's timing or His plans for our family through this transition. But what I can rely on is that He is in ultimate control and He will use me for His purposes. The Spirit will empower me for the purpose of bringing glory to God by being His witness wherever He puts me. And really, that is all I need to know to have peace and joy and contentment even through a time of uncertain transition.
As I have continued reading on and studying in the book of Acts, some pretty amazing, unlikely things happen to fulfill God's promises and far exceed everyone's hopes and expectations. And that makes me so excited for what God has for our family in this new phase of life for us! I know that His plans for us are greater than we can even dream and we are looking forward to seeing how those plans unfold!
Showing posts with label military. Show all posts
Showing posts with label military. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Military Life and the Faithfulness of God
At this point in my life as a military spouse, I have literally lost count of how many times we have moved. I think we're at something like seven or eight in the past seven and a half years we have been married. I am not complaining because I actually love this life and love having the opportunity to live all over the country and the world and to experience different cultures and climates. But all the transition does not come without its challenges.
Currently we are living in Connecticut for five months while my husband trains for his next assignment. By the time we had unpacked and put away all of our belongings and gotten pictures hung, we were down to four months before our next move, which means mentally and emotionally I am already beginning to check out of here before we have even made this place home. We just found a church and have yet to get settled in a small group or find a place to serve. We just got Q into preschool and both kids just started swim lessons. I have only barely met a few new friends and it is already almost time to leave. I was pretty much resigned that this period of life would be a wash and I was just biding my time until we could move on to a more permanent home. As usual, God had other plans.
A couple of weeks ago I spent the evening with a bunch of young 20-something women at a Bible study. I had never met most of them and the only one I did know I had barely met once when she invited me to this study {these situations in which you know no one but put yourself out there anyway are just typical for us military spouses}. All the women were younger than me, civilians, many newly-weds, a few unmarried, a couple with young children. But as young as they were, they were so mature in Christ, smart, and obviously passionate about their faith. It was humbling and refreshing. Humbling to be the older more experienced woman so impressed by the knowledge and faith of younger women. Refreshing to be around such women of faith diving deep into the Word together. What an unexpected blessing during this time of transition for me. Praise God! I may be willing to chalk a few months up to wasted time, but He is not.
This experience reminded me of God's faithfulness to provide us with opportunities to learn and grow in every single place we have lived and traveled to over my husband's military career. It amazes me to think back over the ways He has provided for me above and beyond what we could have hoped for when we least expected it. It turns out that being a military spouse has given God the opportunity to bless me by showing His faithfulness and unfailing love for me over and over and over again as our situation continues to change and continues to be out of our control. He is ultimately in control of it all and He provides.
Even at times when I was dissatisfied with His provision, in hindsight I can see just how much He cared for me. Like when we lived in Singapore for six months and I was woefully unhappy, we never found a local church, but we were able to watch our SC church online and continue to grow. I was able to continue participating in my online goodmorninggirls Bible study with my friends from our CA small group. And God even literally sent one of my very good friends with me to Singapore and we lived down the hall from one another. So even in one of the most difficult times in my life, I can see just how faithful God was to provide for me.
Another time we were stationed in NH for a short six months which left me with little hope of finding a job. And God provided my dream job at the time. The position did not even exist to my knowledge. I was interviewing for something else and the church saw my heart and my gifts and laid my dream job in my lap without me even asking, knowing that I would only be there for six months. Unheard of, but all things are possible with God.
I could go on, but suffice it to say that no matter where in the world we have moved, no matter how short or long the duration of our stay, God has been faithful to provide us with opportunities for growth and community. I don't know how I continue to be surprised when He does it again.
Currently we are living in Connecticut for five months while my husband trains for his next assignment. By the time we had unpacked and put away all of our belongings and gotten pictures hung, we were down to four months before our next move, which means mentally and emotionally I am already beginning to check out of here before we have even made this place home. We just found a church and have yet to get settled in a small group or find a place to serve. We just got Q into preschool and both kids just started swim lessons. I have only barely met a few new friends and it is already almost time to leave. I was pretty much resigned that this period of life would be a wash and I was just biding my time until we could move on to a more permanent home. As usual, God had other plans.
A couple of weeks ago I spent the evening with a bunch of young 20-something women at a Bible study. I had never met most of them and the only one I did know I had barely met once when she invited me to this study {these situations in which you know no one but put yourself out there anyway are just typical for us military spouses}. All the women were younger than me, civilians, many newly-weds, a few unmarried, a couple with young children. But as young as they were, they were so mature in Christ, smart, and obviously passionate about their faith. It was humbling and refreshing. Humbling to be the older more experienced woman so impressed by the knowledge and faith of younger women. Refreshing to be around such women of faith diving deep into the Word together. What an unexpected blessing during this time of transition for me. Praise God! I may be willing to chalk a few months up to wasted time, but He is not.
This experience reminded me of God's faithfulness to provide us with opportunities to learn and grow in every single place we have lived and traveled to over my husband's military career. It amazes me to think back over the ways He has provided for me above and beyond what we could have hoped for when we least expected it. It turns out that being a military spouse has given God the opportunity to bless me by showing His faithfulness and unfailing love for me over and over and over again as our situation continues to change and continues to be out of our control. He is ultimately in control of it all and He provides.
Even at times when I was dissatisfied with His provision, in hindsight I can see just how much He cared for me. Like when we lived in Singapore for six months and I was woefully unhappy, we never found a local church, but we were able to watch our SC church online and continue to grow. I was able to continue participating in my online goodmorninggirls Bible study with my friends from our CA small group. And God even literally sent one of my very good friends with me to Singapore and we lived down the hall from one another. So even in one of the most difficult times in my life, I can see just how faithful God was to provide for me.
Another time we were stationed in NH for a short six months which left me with little hope of finding a job. And God provided my dream job at the time. The position did not even exist to my knowledge. I was interviewing for something else and the church saw my heart and my gifts and laid my dream job in my lap without me even asking, knowing that I would only be there for six months. Unheard of, but all things are possible with God.
I could go on, but suffice it to say that no matter where in the world we have moved, no matter how short or long the duration of our stay, God has been faithful to provide us with opportunities for growth and community. I don't know how I continue to be surprised when He does it again.
"Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!"
Monday, September 16, 2013
Monterey CA {The Place We Call Home... for now}
It is a glamorous life being a military wife. I am currently laying on my completely bare mattress eating the last remaining food items out of my freezer which happen to be an "uncrustable" kids PB&J and a bag of lima beans, while I am stranded at home alone with no husband, no car, no kids {hallelujah}, practically no food, and a house full of boxes wondering how on earth we have accumulated an estimated 10,192 pounds of stuff?! The packers are busy downstairs packing up the last 3 to 5 thousand pounds of our belongings while I am supposed to be cleaning. But one can only scrub a bath tub for so long before they need to take a break and have a bag of lima beans and a frozen PB&J. Please try not to be jealous, I know you all want my life right now.
In all seriousness though, I feel ridiculously blessed to get to live in the amazing places the Navy has sent us over the past 7 years and Monterey is no exception. I knew nothing about this place when we moved here and it is pretty much nothing how I imagined, but regardless, it is challenging to let go of the very full life we have built here.
As a military wife, I am always meeting other spouses destined for the places we have already lived asking about living there and for any recommendations. So while Monterey is still fresh in my heart and my mind, I thought I would put off the cleaning a few minutes longer to pass on some of our local favorites for those of you who may end up living or visiting here in the future.
Some general information:
Monterey is on the central coast of California. It stays around 60 degrees most of the year. "Summer" occurs in September and October when the temperatures reach into the sweltering {ha} 70's. I do not recommend getting in the ocean, I once put my toe in and nearly died of hypothermia. The area is full of micro-climates and the weather can be significantly different 5 minutes down the road. Something to pay attention to if you're house hunting.
All the little towns from Carmel up Route 1 through Marina are very close together and there is practically no traffic. Unless it's the week of the car show or the motorcycle event, in which case, just stay out of town and pray for it to end.
Things to do:
Farmer's Market. There are farmer's markets year round practically everyday somewhere in the area. The largest is Tuesday evenings 4-7pm on Alvarado Street in downtown Monterey. Beautiful produce, delicious food vendors, street performers and more. My other favorite farmer's market for produce, meat/fish, and flowers is Friday morning 10am-1pm at MPC.
Monterey Bay Aquarium. Really nice aquarium, year-long passes are very affordable, kids love it. Make sure you bring quarters for parking.
MY Museum. The children's museum downtown is really fun for toddlers and elementary aged kids. Year-long passes are very affordable.
Earthbound Farm Stand. A fun place to go in Carmel Valley in the fall. They have a corn maze, gardens, a pumpkin patch, and a little store. Check online for schedule of events.
Carmel Valley Tasting Rooms. A bunch of wineries have tasting rooms in Carmel Valley within walking distance of one another. Makes for a fun afternoon.
Coastal Trail. There is a paved coastal trail along the water that runs for miles and miles along the old railroad. Great for running, biking, strolling. It goes right by Del Monte Beach, Lover's Point, Fisherman's Wharf, Cannery Row, and the Aquarium. There is a free parking lot with access right across from the Del Monte gate to NPS.
Beach Bonfires. Most of the beaches you can have fires on. Our favorite is Carmel Beach because the sunset is breathtaking on a clear night from there. Make sure you are South of 10th street to have a fire though. And don't forget the s'mores!
Point Lobos. Really pretty hiking without leaving Monterey!
Gizdich Ranch Fruit Picking. The ranch is about 30 minutes from Monterey in Watsonville and they have various pick-your-own fruits available in season. Check their schedule online. We've been berry picking and apple picking there and the kids loooove it! There is also a nice little picnic area near their little barn store and make sure to try the Apple-Ollalieberry juice- yum!
Nearby:
San Francisco. Less than 2 hours North.
Santa Cruz. 45 minutes North. Check out the summer concert series on the beach boardwalk there.
Big Sur. Drive about an hour South for gorgeous uninhabited coastal views and some good hiking.
Sonoma & Napa. Drive 2 and a half hours North, or better yet, take a long weekend, and do some wine and olive oil tasting and tour some beautiful wineries.
Hearst Castle. Gorgeous old California estate 2 hours South.
Tahoe. 5 hours Northeast. Not exactly "nearby" but absolutely worth a trip!
Santa Barbara. 4 hours South, also definitely worth a trip!
Restaurants:
I think I will mourn the loss of the most delicious place I have ever lived more than anything else about California!
Red House Cafe. Home-y comfort food where you can taste the freshness. Quaint and comfortable little location in Pacific Grove. Wish I could eat there breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day!
Passionfish. Specializes in sustainable seafood menu items. A little pricier but unforgettably good.
Esteban. Spanish tapas place in the Casa Munras hotel in Monterey. Everything on the menu is delicious and it's probably the place we go most frequently on date night (like last night!).
Restaurant 1833. My favorite place for ambiance! And the food does not disappoint! More of a special-occassion type place. We have reservations with our beloved small group from church for our last night in town.
Trailside Cafe. One of my favorite places to meet friends for lunch after a walk on the trail or a morning at the close-by aquarium.
Chopstix. I had lunch nearly every single Sunday for 3 years at this amazing Vietnamese place. My favorite Pho anywhere {and I have lived in Southeast Asia, so that's sayin something}. You know you are a regular when the owner gives you a big hug and cries on your last visit before your move. Yep, that happened yesterday.
The Forge in the Forest. Another favorite place to meet girlfriends for lunch while shopping in Carmel-by-the-Sea. Try the San Francisco fondue- yum!
Lilian's. This Italian place is up in Santa Cruz, but worth the drive. And make sure you call ahead or you'll be waiting for at least an hour, for good reason!
Thai Bistro in new Monterey.
Crystalfish in new Monterey for sushi!
Full Moon in old Monterey for Chinese. Best Chinese restaurant ever! Think white meat chicken, fresh veggies and the best egg flower soup you'll ever taste!
Turtle Bay Taqueria for fish tacos
Other recommendations:
Pediatrician: Monterey Pediatric Group, Dr Dwelle & Dr Bennett. I cannot say enough good things about either of these doctors!
Family Practice: Pacific Medical Group, Dr Sweet
Obstetrician: Dr Keith (who I had and loved), Dr Alexander & Dr Walker are also wonderful according to several friends
Hair Dresser: Chris at Venus Salon
Preschool: I cannot say enough good things about Mother's Morning Out at First Presbyterian.
Church: we love Shoreline Community Church
I know there are many great doctors and hairdressers and preschools and churches but I can only speak from my experience and we have been so pleased with all of those mentioned above.
Hopefully those of you potentially moving to or visiting this area that we currently call "home" find some of this information helpful! I may be looking for similar recommendations from my fellow military spouses the next time we are moving to an unfamiliar place!
In all seriousness though, I feel ridiculously blessed to get to live in the amazing places the Navy has sent us over the past 7 years and Monterey is no exception. I knew nothing about this place when we moved here and it is pretty much nothing how I imagined, but regardless, it is challenging to let go of the very full life we have built here.
As a military wife, I am always meeting other spouses destined for the places we have already lived asking about living there and for any recommendations. So while Monterey is still fresh in my heart and my mind, I thought I would put off the cleaning a few minutes longer to pass on some of our local favorites for those of you who may end up living or visiting here in the future.
Some general information:
Monterey is on the central coast of California. It stays around 60 degrees most of the year. "Summer" occurs in September and October when the temperatures reach into the sweltering {ha} 70's. I do not recommend getting in the ocean, I once put my toe in and nearly died of hypothermia. The area is full of micro-climates and the weather can be significantly different 5 minutes down the road. Something to pay attention to if you're house hunting.
All the little towns from Carmel up Route 1 through Marina are very close together and there is practically no traffic. Unless it's the week of the car show or the motorcycle event, in which case, just stay out of town and pray for it to end.
Things to do:
Farmer's Market. There are farmer's markets year round practically everyday somewhere in the area. The largest is Tuesday evenings 4-7pm on Alvarado Street in downtown Monterey. Beautiful produce, delicious food vendors, street performers and more. My other favorite farmer's market for produce, meat/fish, and flowers is Friday morning 10am-1pm at MPC.
Monterey Bay Aquarium. Really nice aquarium, year-long passes are very affordable, kids love it. Make sure you bring quarters for parking.
MY Museum. The children's museum downtown is really fun for toddlers and elementary aged kids. Year-long passes are very affordable.
Earthbound Farm Stand. A fun place to go in Carmel Valley in the fall. They have a corn maze, gardens, a pumpkin patch, and a little store. Check online for schedule of events.
Carmel Valley Tasting Rooms. A bunch of wineries have tasting rooms in Carmel Valley within walking distance of one another. Makes for a fun afternoon.
Coastal Trail. There is a paved coastal trail along the water that runs for miles and miles along the old railroad. Great for running, biking, strolling. It goes right by Del Monte Beach, Lover's Point, Fisherman's Wharf, Cannery Row, and the Aquarium. There is a free parking lot with access right across from the Del Monte gate to NPS.
Beach Bonfires. Most of the beaches you can have fires on. Our favorite is Carmel Beach because the sunset is breathtaking on a clear night from there. Make sure you are South of 10th street to have a fire though. And don't forget the s'mores!
Point Lobos. Really pretty hiking without leaving Monterey!
Gizdich Ranch Fruit Picking. The ranch is about 30 minutes from Monterey in Watsonville and they have various pick-your-own fruits available in season. Check their schedule online. We've been berry picking and apple picking there and the kids loooove it! There is also a nice little picnic area near their little barn store and make sure to try the Apple-Ollalieberry juice- yum!
Nearby:
San Francisco. Less than 2 hours North.
Santa Cruz. 45 minutes North. Check out the summer concert series on the beach boardwalk there.
Big Sur. Drive about an hour South for gorgeous uninhabited coastal views and some good hiking.
Sonoma & Napa. Drive 2 and a half hours North, or better yet, take a long weekend, and do some wine and olive oil tasting and tour some beautiful wineries.
Hearst Castle. Gorgeous old California estate 2 hours South.
Tahoe. 5 hours Northeast. Not exactly "nearby" but absolutely worth a trip!
Santa Barbara. 4 hours South, also definitely worth a trip!
Restaurants:
I think I will mourn the loss of the most delicious place I have ever lived more than anything else about California!
Red House Cafe. Home-y comfort food where you can taste the freshness. Quaint and comfortable little location in Pacific Grove. Wish I could eat there breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day!
Passionfish. Specializes in sustainable seafood menu items. A little pricier but unforgettably good.
Esteban. Spanish tapas place in the Casa Munras hotel in Monterey. Everything on the menu is delicious and it's probably the place we go most frequently on date night (like last night!).
Restaurant 1833. My favorite place for ambiance! And the food does not disappoint! More of a special-occassion type place. We have reservations with our beloved small group from church for our last night in town.
Trailside Cafe. One of my favorite places to meet friends for lunch after a walk on the trail or a morning at the close-by aquarium.
Chopstix. I had lunch nearly every single Sunday for 3 years at this amazing Vietnamese place. My favorite Pho anywhere {and I have lived in Southeast Asia, so that's sayin something}. You know you are a regular when the owner gives you a big hug and cries on your last visit before your move. Yep, that happened yesterday.
The Forge in the Forest. Another favorite place to meet girlfriends for lunch while shopping in Carmel-by-the-Sea. Try the San Francisco fondue- yum!
Lilian's. This Italian place is up in Santa Cruz, but worth the drive. And make sure you call ahead or you'll be waiting for at least an hour, for good reason!
Thai Bistro in new Monterey.
Crystalfish in new Monterey for sushi!
Full Moon in old Monterey for Chinese. Best Chinese restaurant ever! Think white meat chicken, fresh veggies and the best egg flower soup you'll ever taste!
Turtle Bay Taqueria for fish tacos
Other recommendations:
Pediatrician: Monterey Pediatric Group, Dr Dwelle & Dr Bennett. I cannot say enough good things about either of these doctors!
Family Practice: Pacific Medical Group, Dr Sweet
Obstetrician: Dr Keith (who I had and loved), Dr Alexander & Dr Walker are also wonderful according to several friends
Hair Dresser: Chris at Venus Salon
Preschool: I cannot say enough good things about Mother's Morning Out at First Presbyterian.
Church: we love Shoreline Community Church
I know there are many great doctors and hairdressers and preschools and churches but I can only speak from my experience and we have been so pleased with all of those mentioned above.
Hopefully those of you potentially moving to or visiting this area that we currently call "home" find some of this information helpful! I may be looking for similar recommendations from my fellow military spouses the next time we are moving to an unfamiliar place!
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
T minus 31 days
One month from today will be our last night in Monterey before beginning our cross country PCS {permanent change of station} to Connecticut. This will be our 9th move {5th PCS} in our 7 years in the Navy. It feels a lot harder this time since, aside from a 6 month stint in Singapore in which we did not have to move all our stuff, we have never moved with our children {and the oodles of stuff they have acquired in the past 3 years of their existence} and we have never had to drive cross country for a move. It has also been nearly 3 years since we last PCSed and I am feeling pretty rusty at the whole process.
We have been turning the house over in an attempt to get rid of anything we possibly can and have done a good job at unloading most of the baby stuff our kids no longer need {swing, jumperoo, high chair, etc} on expecting friends. Since we will likely only be in Connecticut for 6 months before moving again, I am really hoping not to have to unpack everything we own there which requires some serious forethought and organization on this end to make sure things get packed and appropriately labeled so we know what is what when we arrive. That *little* project has not even been started because I don't want to tear the house apart that we have to live in for the next month, and {more importantly} what mother of a 2 year old and 10 month old has time for that?! It's also entirely possible that I bit off more than I could chew when I decided to throw one final party before we leave, taking significant portions of my time and energy for planning and preparations, and also delaying the point at which we can start destroying the house to get ready for the packers. Oh well, if things don't get organized before the packers arrive, it won't be the end of the world, in all our previous moves I have never pre-organized for the packers and everything turned out fine then.
In addition to the logistics and packing, every move is emotional in one way or another. I am generally ready to go when it is time to leave somewhere but then a few weeks after leaving will find myself crying for no reason. This time, I have already shed my first tear about leaving. This morning on the way to preschool, Q told me he wanted a fish taco and I teared up. I had never had a fish taco before moving to California, but my California-born son has been eating them his whole life. It's always those silly little things that get to me when it comes to this stuff! As ready as I am for our next adventure, it will be hard to say goodbye to the first home our children have known.
Speaking of our next adventure, in true Navy fashion, I heard about {and got the details on} Sam's slate {list of jobs he is eligible for following training in CT} through a friend before Sam even knew the slate was out yesterday. In the Navy, well connected wives know everything before their husbands {*wink*}. We have been discussing for years what he'd like to do and where we'd like to go next but really it's all up to the Navy and what is even available at the time. Submarine department head slates and subsequent orders are notorious for changing up until the very last minute so we're not getting too attached to the jobs on this slate, but we are excited by the possibilities.
After almost 3 years of discussing and worrying about where we'll end up next, I think we are finally in a good place regarding our future. We will put in our preferences and we will go where the Navy sends us and we will know that wherever that is, it is right where God intends for us. I have stopped praying for "somewhere warmer than here" and started praying for the relationships we will make in our future home and the impact we can have on our future community. This shift has really impacted my thoughts and the anxiety I use to feel about where we might end up. I now day dream more about God's purposes for our family in a new location than I do about moving to a place I love and finding the ideal house.
For now, I should get off the computer and start some of this "organizing" I am so keen to do!
We have been turning the house over in an attempt to get rid of anything we possibly can and have done a good job at unloading most of the baby stuff our kids no longer need {swing, jumperoo, high chair, etc} on expecting friends. Since we will likely only be in Connecticut for 6 months before moving again, I am really hoping not to have to unpack everything we own there which requires some serious forethought and organization on this end to make sure things get packed and appropriately labeled so we know what is what when we arrive. That *little* project has not even been started because I don't want to tear the house apart that we have to live in for the next month, and {more importantly} what mother of a 2 year old and 10 month old has time for that?! It's also entirely possible that I bit off more than I could chew when I decided to throw one final party before we leave, taking significant portions of my time and energy for planning and preparations, and also delaying the point at which we can start destroying the house to get ready for the packers. Oh well, if things don't get organized before the packers arrive, it won't be the end of the world, in all our previous moves I have never pre-organized for the packers and everything turned out fine then.
In addition to the logistics and packing, every move is emotional in one way or another. I am generally ready to go when it is time to leave somewhere but then a few weeks after leaving will find myself crying for no reason. This time, I have already shed my first tear about leaving. This morning on the way to preschool, Q told me he wanted a fish taco and I teared up. I had never had a fish taco before moving to California, but my California-born son has been eating them his whole life. It's always those silly little things that get to me when it comes to this stuff! As ready as I am for our next adventure, it will be hard to say goodbye to the first home our children have known.
Speaking of our next adventure, in true Navy fashion, I heard about {and got the details on} Sam's slate {list of jobs he is eligible for following training in CT} through a friend before Sam even knew the slate was out yesterday. In the Navy, well connected wives know everything before their husbands {*wink*}. We have been discussing for years what he'd like to do and where we'd like to go next but really it's all up to the Navy and what is even available at the time. Submarine department head slates and subsequent orders are notorious for changing up until the very last minute so we're not getting too attached to the jobs on this slate, but we are excited by the possibilities.
After almost 3 years of discussing and worrying about where we'll end up next, I think we are finally in a good place regarding our future. We will put in our preferences and we will go where the Navy sends us and we will know that wherever that is, it is right where God intends for us. I have stopped praying for "somewhere warmer than here" and started praying for the relationships we will make in our future home and the impact we can have on our future community. This shift has really impacted my thoughts and the anxiety I use to feel about where we might end up. I now day dream more about God's purposes for our family in a new location than I do about moving to a place I love and finding the ideal house.
For now, I should get off the computer and start some of this "organizing" I am so keen to do!
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Growing Pains {My Faith Journey}
Growing up in a Christian home where Bible stories were read
regularly, prayer was a typical part of our meal time and night time routine,
and church was a regular part of the week, I am truly blessed to be able to say
that I cannot remember a day of my whole life that I did not know Jesus as my
Savior. I was about seven years old when I actually chose to get baptized and
commit my life to Christ, but even before that, I have always known Jesus, even
if it wasn’t in an “intellectual” sort of way. I am grateful to my family for
this; for the legacy of faith which they passed down to me such that I have
never lived a day of my life without the peace of Christ.
This makes for not such an exciting testimony of salvation,
but of course, as I have grown up and matured, as I have inevitably faced
life’s challenges that come with the growing responsibility that time and age brings,
I have learned to rely on God in different ways. Much like teenagers experience growing pains,
my story is about the “growing pains” I have experienced through my faith
journey.
The majority of my life growing up was spent in a pool. I
think I was seven when I started swimming competitively and over the next seven
years the sport completely took over my life. In many ways swimming was an
excellent thing for me; it kept me healthy, being good at something gave me
lots of self-confidence, and my busy training schedule taught me discipline and
kept me out of the kind of trouble kids get into when they are bored. On the
other hand, swimming became an idol for me.
I had a singular focus in life, and it had nothing to do with God. By the time I was in high school my life
revolved around my sport. I had practice
before school, I went to school, I did my homework in the car on the way to
afternoon training, I ate my dinner in the car on the way home from training,
and I went to bed. With that much time and energy devoted to swimming it is
easy to see how I began to identify myself by my athletic success. And you can
imagine how crushing a career-ending injury was to a fourteen year old whose
whole world revolved around being an elite athlete. I questioned God, why did
He let this happen to me?
While taking a break from training after having shoulder
surgery, I had to find something else to do with my time. I played some other
sports, but mostly finally made friends with some people from school that I previously
hadn’t had the time for. These friendships were wonderful for me, as having
fun, loyal, and supportive friends always is wonderful. However, this little
taste of popularity caused me to place more and more importance on being liked
and being popular such that now instead of swimming, my social status was the
most important thing to me. I always had someone with me, I always had a
“boyfriend,” and always kept myself socially busy. By the time my parents
announced we were moving to another state just before my Junior year of high
school I was devastated because I was in such a comfortable social situation in
the school where I was. I didn’t want to
leave my best friends and I didn’t want to have to start over building
popularity somewhere else. Looking back,
I can see this as another attempt by God at refocusing my attention.
When I arrived at my new school I quickly made a good
friend, who is still one of my best friends to this day, but I was definitely a
“small fish in a big pond” and never really gained any sort of popularity. I
did eventually find my place as part of our church’s youth group and in my
female small group through that youth group.
God really used this time in my life when I had fewer distractions from
athletics and social status to guide me towards whom He intended for me to
become. My faith was becoming my own as
I transitioned from believing the truths told to me by my parents and church
leaders, to spending more time studying God’s Word and really discovering
biblical truth for myself. For the first
time in my life I felt God really leading me.
As it approached time for making a college decision, I felt
God guiding me towards student ministry which put a new spin on college
searches since a ministry major would require a Christian college, something my
parents were not too keen on given the lack of educational rigor
stereotypically associated with “Bible college.” I clearly felt God’s leading
though, and through a series of events including not getting into other
colleges I really should have based on my grades and extracurriculars, we
settled on an educationally respectable Christian liberal-arts university that
had my desired major. This represented a major step in my spiritual journey;
when I chose to follow God’s leading as opposed to God allowing injury or
relocation to refocus my attention.
After college, I married into the military and ended up
pursuing a teaching degree, which led to a more portable career than student
ministry. I felt like I had found my
calling as a secondary math teacher. I loved working with students and seemed
to have an aptitude for teaching and classroom management. As a first year
teacher my students outperformed every veteran teacher in the department, a
fact I was very proud of. I loved
feeling good at my job and like I was making a difference in the world. Again,
I found my identity in my career success rather than in my position as a child
of God.
Then we got pregnant and my husband and I made the decision
for me to stay home with our son for at least two years. Becoming a mother sent me into serious
identity crisis mode. I went from a job
I loved and was good at to being a stay-at-home-mom. I didn’t feel like what I
did on a day-to-day basis was very significant and I didn’t feel like I did it
well and there really was no way to quantify success. Through many
heart-to-hearts with my husband and with a wonderful group of Christian girl
friends I learned that my real problem is that I have always used worldly
status to identify myself {athletics, popularity, career}. As a
stay-at-home-mom I didn’t have much worldly status and this led me to find my
identity as a child of God, living for His glory, not my own.
I was further humbled during my second pregnancy when we
moved to Singapore temporarily. It was a
difficult pregnancy beginning with what we assume was the miscarriage of a twin
followed by lots of bleeding into our second trimester. Combine that stress with the usual pregnancy
nausea and vomiting, unfamiliar food in a foreign country, severe insomnia
lasting 6 months, a toddler just discovering his independence, and being half a
world away from our support system of friends and family, and it made for a
very miserable me! There was no way I could be a decent wife and mother
operating on as little sleep as I was getting {about an hour per night} with
constant nausea and frequent vomiting. Until then, there had never been a time
in my life when I could not do something if I just put my mind to it. At that time, I could not. I was so far beyond my capabilities and every
day I prayed for just enough energy to take care of my son and keep it together
for my husband’s sake. God provided.
Life didn’t get any easier for months, and still, every day God provided
just enough love… patience… energy… to make it through. The experience of living beyond myself and
relying fully on God was one of the best experiences of my life. I would not
trade the intimacy with God and spiritual growth I experienced for anything. I
now have a greater appreciation and trust for God equipping and empowering me
supernaturally for whatever He calls me to in life. At this time, it is being a
wife and a mother. Who knows what tomorrow might bring, but I know that
whatever it is, He will give me just what I need to be successful for His
glory.
As I now reflect on the growing pains I have experienced
throughout my faith journey, I realize that there is a singular theme, one
simple, and yet profound, truth, which I have had to learn over and over again
in my stubbornness, and that is that my identity and my purpose are found in
Christ. So often I am tempted to identify myself by my successes. So often I am tempted to think I can do it
all on my own. But when I look back at the story of my faith journey I can see
that my identity and significance lie in doing what He calls me to do, with the
power that He provides, for His glory. Let me not forget it!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
A totally typical ordinary day
"Sounds like a busy day- eating out of the trash, waffle tantrums, sexual assault..."
That was the opening line from an email from my husband, and this totally typical, ordinary day as a toddler mommy wasn't even over yet... add theft, scaling the furniture, and refusing bedtime and that about sums it up! And I have to admit, I love it all! (well... except the tantrum throwing and refusing bedtime part... that I could do without!) One thing is for certain, there is never a dull moment around here (or any toddler household I imagine).
Let's start from the beginning of this totally typical, ordinary day...
7:45am- Wake up, get Q dressed, take a shower and get ready while Q unloads the contents of the bathroom cabinets
8:15am- put in a load of laundry and make waffles (from scratch)
8:30am- my friend and her daughter D arrive just in time for breakfast
8:31am- Q finished his berries and begins a tantrum because he wants more berries and refuses to eat his waffle (even when offered syrup...)
8:40am- I am finished "negotiating" with Q and he "chooses" (by continuing his tantrum) to have some alone time in his room to settle down
8:50am- I am finished my breakfast and go to retrieve Q (still crying) and give him another chance at eating (he refuses but does stop screaming)
9am- my friend leaves for her appointment and I now have 2 toddlers
9:05am- Q steals a leftover bite of waffle off my plate and decides that waffles are good, finishes eating his breakfast
9:15am- clean up breakfast and spend forever scraping pastry off of the tart pan I made quiche in last night
9:45am- catch Q giving D unwanted hugs and kisses (sexual assault according to hubby, photo op according to me)
10:15am- put Q down for an extremely early nap based on his unusually cranky behavior (normally only takes 1 nap at 1pm) and cross my fingers that this will not be the only nap for today
11am- D's mom returns to collect her, I make a menu for the week and a grocery list, put laundry in the dryer, stuff cloth diapers, fold cloth wipes
11:45am- Q wakes up, eats a cheese stick and some pita chips with hummus
12pm- head to the grocery store
1pm- return from the grocery store, get Q out of the car and put him in the playroom while I go get the groceries out of the car in the garage
1pm & 15 seconds- come back in the house with groceries to find Q eating a stale cinnamon bun out of the kitchen trash, take away nasty cinnamon bun, give him turkey, avocado, and grapes instead, finish unloading and putting away groceries, make and eat my own lunch while Q makes guacamole in his hair... change Q's shirt...
2pm- another friend drops off her son J so she can go to an appointment, boys play happily until grouchy Q returns and gets possessive with his toys (nap time is imminent)
2:45pm- put Q down for another nap (no resistance- yay!) while J spends the next hour playing happily on his own and I fold laundry and box up returns for the mail
3:45pm- my friend returns, I get Q up and we all head to the farmer's market
4:20pm- finally arrive at farmer's market after stopping for jackets, gas, cash, and parking downtown
4:30pm- from his stroller, Q steals strawberries from a produce stand while I am preoccupied buying 13.5lbs of peaches (I love fresh peaches okay?!)
4:31pm- I look in the stroller to see Q's face and shirt covered in berry juice while the stem of a strawberry disappears into his mouth, I apologize to the vendor who smiles and laughs
5:30pm- allow Q to walk back to the car (several blocks away) if he holds my hand
5:35pm- carry a flailing Q across an intersection because he refuses to hold my hand and traffic is waiting
5:37pm- a crying, rigid Q "chooses" (by refusing to hold my hand, again) to be forced into his stroller
5:50pm- drop off my friend and her son J and head home with all our fresh goodies
5:55pm- eat Mr. Falafel shawarma (from farmer's market) for dinner while Q has leftover quiche lorraine and sweet potato-carrot-apple-lentil soup
6:10pm- talk to my mom on the phone for 30 minutes after hearing through the grapevine that one of my dogs (who are currently living with my parents till they can fly back to CA) peed on their floor, collectively determined it was more likely to have been my sister's dog since no one saw it happen and if Bella peed on the floor it would have been out of spite and she would have made darn sure someone saw it!
6:40pm- bake cupcakes (to reward myself for not buying a $3 cupcake from my fav bakery at the farmers market)
6:45pm- clean up the kitchen and put away farmer's market loot
7pm- notice that Q (who had been happily playing on the floor of the playroom) is now seated in the bumbo seat which is on top of the kitchen table.... remove him (after taking a picture or course)
7:01pm- spend the next hour reading and playing with Q till bedtime
7:55pm- get Q ready for bed and say goodnight to tears and crying (very unusual), read one more book, sing a song, say prayers, and leave the room
8:00pm- put another load of laundry in
8:05pm- crying stops :-)
8:06pm- watch the last of the sunset over Monterey Bay from my front porch while calling a girlfriend to confirm plans for tomorrow
8:15pm- ice two cupcakes and settle down to finally do my quiet time (which got postponed from nap time due to having extra kiddies today)
9pm- email hubby and set up our next skype date :-)
If you asked me what I accomplished today, all I could have said is a little laundry and some grocery shopping. But my day was full of precious moments watching my toddler grow up. It's the goofy little things he randomly does on a daily basis that help me enjoy my life as a SAHM so much. It's these same goofy things that make me miss my husband so much. It's not that I need him here to physically help me, though that is nice. It's that I want him here to share the moments when Q is doing something that only Q's dad would find as adorable and clever as I do, because Q is ours. And I want him here to feel my belly as LK's in utero kicks and punches are getting stronger and more coordinated as I try to fall asleep each night. Every time I email him or skype with him I feel like there are a million things I need to tell him about these silly moments each day and am often frustrated that I just can't remember on the spot. But I am so grateful for technology and the fact that Q can see his daddy's face via skype, and I can post random pictures of our everyday events on facebook right from my phone, before I forget them, so hubby can be part of our totally typical, ordinary days.
Monday, January 23, 2012
You + Me + The Navy = Love {our military marriage}
I am not one who likes to acknowledge the differences between civilian and military life. I have always looked at the Navy as my husbands job and tried to keep it at that, not allowing it to work it's way into our family identity. But try as I may to pretend it is no different being a military wife than a civilian wife, finally after over five and half years of marriage I am coming to terms with some of the effects it has had on our relationship.
In some ways it is easier (yep, I said easier) to be a military wife than a civilian wife. When my husband was on sea tour he was gone roughly 75% of the time. While that absence brought it's own difficulties, mainly missing him, it also gave both of us a break from being full-time spouses. We could each choose to focus entirely on our careers (or whatever else we wanted/needed to do). Free from wifely duties, I was able to accomplish significantly more career-wise than I could have hoped to with him around.
For the record, my husband isn't a slave driver, expecting me to do all the housework. But because I love him, I want to be able to make him a warm, healthy meal each night and make sure he has clean clothes to wear and a clean toilet to sit on. And planning, shopping for, and preparing delicious and healthy meals takes time. Cleaning and doing laundry and ironing take time. Investing in our relationship by doing things together takes time. And even though I take pleasure in doing those things for and with my husband, sometimes it's nice to a have a break from being a "full-time wife" in addition to the many other roles I have.
During my husband's last deployment I was pregnant, teaching full time, and a full time graduate student. I was so tired when I got home from work that I would collapse on the couch, eat cereal for dinner, and go to bed. I was so grateful during the exhausting months of pregnancy that I did not have the pressure of continuing to cook and clean the way I tried to when my husband was actually home. I think I did laundry maybe four times the entire six months he was gone, and I didn't iron once! And I could bask in the joy of not feeling guilty about any of it!
Then my husband came home from deployment, we moved to shore tour (which is the closest thing to civilian life that we will know), and we had a baby. At first I was still finishing my graduate degree and I started two new full time jobs; full-time mommy and full-time wife. And I thought I was busy before- ha! Unfortunately, my role as full-time mommy often conflicts with my role as full-time wife. Some days (okay... a lot of days...) a fresh, healthy dinner doesn't get made and come meal time we are scrounging around in the freezer looking for a Stouffer's lasagna or a pizza. And some days when my husband gets home from work the house is even more of a mess than it was when he left and based on all appearances I haven't accomplished anything other than barely managing to keep alive a screaming baby.
This inability to be the "perfect wife" is really tough for me. Right now, taking care of our 1 year old and keeping my sanity are top priority. My husband is so understanding and supportive of that. But I am not use to failing, and it feels like failing when I can't accomplish things like making dinner and keeping the house clean. I'm getting better at figuring out how to "do it all," but it is hard!
All this to say, I am sure that if we were a civilian couple, and I didn't have these extended "breaks" from my role as a wife, I would have gotten over the need to be the perfect wife long ago. But because in the past I have only had to have enough energy to do all those "good wife" duties for relatively short periods of time (and I didn't have a baby vying for my attention), it has taken me a little longer to "fail" my mission.
I think this "failure" is a good thing though. I am learning to trust that our marriage will be okay (better than okay) even if I am not perfect. And I am learning humility in realizing that I can't do it all, all the time. This current period of shore tour is the closest thing we will ever have to civilian life. And I'm grateful for this uninterrupted time together so our relationship can grow in ways it didn't have the opportunity to with all the little "breaks" sea tour provided.
In some ways it is easier (yep, I said easier) to be a military wife than a civilian wife. When my husband was on sea tour he was gone roughly 75% of the time. While that absence brought it's own difficulties, mainly missing him, it also gave both of us a break from being full-time spouses. We could each choose to focus entirely on our careers (or whatever else we wanted/needed to do). Free from wifely duties, I was able to accomplish significantly more career-wise than I could have hoped to with him around.
For the record, my husband isn't a slave driver, expecting me to do all the housework. But because I love him, I want to be able to make him a warm, healthy meal each night and make sure he has clean clothes to wear and a clean toilet to sit on. And planning, shopping for, and preparing delicious and healthy meals takes time. Cleaning and doing laundry and ironing take time. Investing in our relationship by doing things together takes time. And even though I take pleasure in doing those things for and with my husband, sometimes it's nice to a have a break from being a "full-time wife" in addition to the many other roles I have.
During my husband's last deployment I was pregnant, teaching full time, and a full time graduate student. I was so tired when I got home from work that I would collapse on the couch, eat cereal for dinner, and go to bed. I was so grateful during the exhausting months of pregnancy that I did not have the pressure of continuing to cook and clean the way I tried to when my husband was actually home. I think I did laundry maybe four times the entire six months he was gone, and I didn't iron once! And I could bask in the joy of not feeling guilty about any of it!
Then my husband came home from deployment, we moved to shore tour (which is the closest thing to civilian life that we will know), and we had a baby. At first I was still finishing my graduate degree and I started two new full time jobs; full-time mommy and full-time wife. And I thought I was busy before- ha! Unfortunately, my role as full-time mommy often conflicts with my role as full-time wife. Some days (okay... a lot of days...) a fresh, healthy dinner doesn't get made and come meal time we are scrounging around in the freezer looking for a Stouffer's lasagna or a pizza. And some days when my husband gets home from work the house is even more of a mess than it was when he left and based on all appearances I haven't accomplished anything other than barely managing to keep alive a screaming baby.
This inability to be the "perfect wife" is really tough for me. Right now, taking care of our 1 year old and keeping my sanity are top priority. My husband is so understanding and supportive of that. But I am not use to failing, and it feels like failing when I can't accomplish things like making dinner and keeping the house clean. I'm getting better at figuring out how to "do it all," but it is hard!
All this to say, I am sure that if we were a civilian couple, and I didn't have these extended "breaks" from my role as a wife, I would have gotten over the need to be the perfect wife long ago. But because in the past I have only had to have enough energy to do all those "good wife" duties for relatively short periods of time (and I didn't have a baby vying for my attention), it has taken me a little longer to "fail" my mission.
I think this "failure" is a good thing though. I am learning to trust that our marriage will be okay (better than okay) even if I am not perfect. And I am learning humility in realizing that I can't do it all, all the time. This current period of shore tour is the closest thing we will ever have to civilian life. And I'm grateful for this uninterrupted time together so our relationship can grow in ways it didn't have the opportunity to with all the little "breaks" sea tour provided.
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