Goal Setting in Light of the Brevity of Our Lives

There is wisdom to be found when we realize that our life is really very brief. For many people, this wisdom isn’t found until it is too late; when they are approaching the end of their days and looking back at what they wish they had done with their limited time. You might be surprised to know the number one regret of those with terminal illnesses in the last weeks of their lives. You might expect it to be “working too much” which is actually number two. The number one regret is not having the courage to live true to themselves instead of how they were expected to live. 

I believe each of us is given the gift of life for a reason. We are each created with unique talents and passions meant to be used for a purpose that will glorify God and bring us great joy and fulfillment as well. But it can be somewhat terrifying to muster the courage to be true to ourselves, particularly when other people whom we love and respect question the validity of our calling. So often times we wait, we bid our time, we do what is expected of us, and figure there will always be time for our crazy passion later. But who really knows how much time we have left? And no matter how much time we have left, there is never enough time to make up for wasting one precious moment being anything other than who we were created to be. 

Moses prays in Psalm 90:12,

"So teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom." (NASB)

This verse was written during the time the Israelites were wandering in the desert and they had been told that their bodies would fall in the wilderness and not see the promised land because of their lack of faith. Just like people today in the last weeks of their lives, they knew the end was coming and Moses wanted them to live in the light of the limited time they had left.  

 

Moses completes his prayer with a plea for God's favor so that their earthly efforts would not be in vain;

"Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us; And confirm for us the work of our hands, Yes, confirm the work of our hands" (Ps. 90:17). 

When we realize the brevity of life, we focus on the things that matter most, we seek out what makes it meaningful, and we are forced to see a bigger picture than just our own short life. When our thoughts and actions shift from ourselves to eternity, as they might when we realize the brevity of our life, wisdom develops in us. I can't help but see the wisdom contained just in the organization of Psalm 90.

The psalm is organized into 4 parts:
vs. 1-2 comfort in our place in God
vs. 3-6 humility before God
vs. 7-11 submission to God's will
vs. 12-17 prayer for mercy, grace, and favor

I believe wisdom is found in recognizing who God is, recognizing who we are in light of who God is, submitting ourselves to God's will, and praying for mercy, grace and favor. 

So what is on your heart this year?

What matters most in light of who God is, who He made you to be, and the calling He has given you?

Will spend your time wisely and cultivate the courage to be true to yourself this year?

Goal Setting in Light of the Ultimate Goal

It is the start of the New Year and I have literally spent hours assessing the past year and setting new goals for 2016 using this guide. This is important because if we don’t know where we are going, how will we get there? As I am spending these first couple of weeks in 2016 fasting and praying and committing to seek His plans rather than my own, I am curious...

What does the Bible have to say about goal setting?

Well, in my quiet time this morning I read Philippians 3. These verses give us the ultimate goal of the Christian life (3:7-11), a model for reaching our goals (3:12-14), followed by a warning about a common pit fall in goal setting (3:18-19).

For Christians the ultimate goal is summed up here;

“But whatever things were gain to me, those things I count as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.” 

~Philippians 3:7-11

The goal is to gain Christ; to know Him, to fellowship with Him, to be conformed to His image.

The model laid out in verses 12-14 is simple;

1. Have a goal.

          “Not that I have already obtained it…” (vs.12)

2. Single-minded focus on that goal.  

         “...forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead…” (vs. 13)

3. Put in the effort to pursue that goal.  

         “…press on toward the goal…” (vs. 14)

Most of us know step 1 and 3. But step 2 is also critical! 

If we want to pursue our current goals well, we have to forget {neglect and no longer care for} the past and focus on the future. We have to let go of our previous failures and successes. We can only really focus on one thing at a time and the goals we are currently pursuing require our full attention if we hope to attain them. 

Heaven forbid we become like those “old-timers” always talking about their glory days. We should focus on making today glorious rather than reliving the past! On the other hand, heaven forbid we allow our previous failures to distract and discourage us from pursuing the work God has given us today!

This particularly hits home with me in my period in life right now where some days I totally blow it as a mom. I lose my temper with my kids and fail to be the godly example for them that I want to be. This has happened enough times that if I look back at those past failures for even a moment I am already defeated in the present. I think, “If I couldn’t keep it together then, how will I keep it together when they up the ante?” and “Why even try, I’m only going to fail.” are the choruses in my head when I turn around and look back. I have to learn to replace those voices by keeping my eyes fixed on the future and the hope of heaven and the crown of life, righteousness, and glory waiting for me there.

Finally, a warning as we set and pursue goals for the year;

“For many walk, of whom I often told you, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ, whose end is destruction, whose god is their appetite, and whose glory is in their shame, who set their minds on earthly things."

~Philippians 3:18-19

How many times have I skimmed over this thinking, “Wow, how sad for those people!” when the Spirit hit me and said, “Hello, that person is you sometimes!” It grieves me to confess that, in many seasons in my Christian walk, I have been that woman, claiming Christ and seeking after my own goals. Were they evil goals? No. But the fact that I focused my heart and mind on achieving them instead of seeking Christ alone, made them idols. The truth is, I need this reminder a lot! I must remember that I am a citizen of heaven (Philippians 3:20) and as such, should be seeking heavenly things!

Today as I review and pray over the goals I have set for 2016, I am asking myself:

Why is this your goal?

How will acheiving this help you reach your ultimate goal of gaining Christ?

Goals are surely important because they help us effectively direct our time towards what matters most to us. And how we spend our time is how we spend our lives. So let’s make the most of our lives and pursue what matters for the ultimate goal of gaining Christ!

“Therefore, be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil."

~Ephesians 5:14-21

A New Year! A Fresh Focus! {Redeeming my time}

It is New Years Eve. The kids are at preschool for half a day, I just finished an uninterrupted workout, and now I am sitting at my kitchen table crying literal tears of joy and gratitude for all the amazing people in my life that inspire me, and for all the things God has taught me in the past year. You see, the past couple of months have been hectic with birthdays, and holidays, and visitors, and underways for my husband, and the end of the semester of teaching for me. Add a couple rounds of whole family sickness in there, as well as ongoing, extremely expensive, emotional, and time-consuming veterinary issues, and I was on the verge of burn out. So the past couple of days I have taken the kids to preschool and have had a personal retreat of sorts. I have enjoyed uninterrupted workouts, quiet sunrise meditation on the beach, cooking new recipes, quiet time with God reflecting on the past year, and praying for vision and direction for the coming year. It is unbelievable how refreshed and renewed I feel!

2014 was a crazy year for us. It started out slow, almost boring, as we endured a long Connecticut winter often cooped up in the house for days on end. After much transition, the year is ending quite differently; busy, frenzied, and on the verge of burn-out. Now I long for the quiet hours that seemed to stretch on forever earlier in the year, the time that I previously cursed for moving too slowly. In an effort to steward my God-given gifts well by returning to teaching, it now feels like I am not doing anything well, just adequately. Each day that passes my children are learning and growing but I have been too exhausted and overwhelmed to intentionally sow into them in the ways that I desire to. I often blame this on my return to work which confuses me because it was so clear to me that I was meant to return to teaching. I have clearly seen the hand of God at work along that course opening doors, providing for me, and sustaining me. Yet I feel as though this pace of life and our lack of margin is not sustainable for our family without repercussions we do not want to face. From the start we have known this endeavor would require more of us than we have to give, but have been trusting God to provide, and He has. Sometime in the past couple of months though I have switched from purpose-driven-eyes-fixed-on-Jesus, to survival mode trying to do it on my own, which I am pretty sure has been my fatal flaw leading to burn-out.

As we face the new year, there currently is not much we can change about our hectic pace of life due to the commitments we have already made, but my little retreat over the past couple of days has given me fresh vision for 2015. God has helped me to refocus by fixing my eyes again on Jesus {our family's 2014 goal}, and has given me the goal of stewardship for the new year. I aim to apply the principles of biblical stewardship to all areas of our current life and to allow those principles to guide us as we consider the impact of future decisions about current and new commitments.

My guiding verse for 2015 is Ephesians 5:15-16;

"Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil."

In studying this verse I found that by going back to the original language it was written in there are several key words/phrases that brought me deeper understanding.

• "Careful" means to see or discern, to turn the thoughts/mind to something, to consider, to contemplate, to weigh carefully. To me this suggest that walking carefully means intentionally turning my thoughts and mind to wisdom.
• "Making the most" literally means redeeming, by payment of a price to recover from the power of another. One source said "to make wise and sacred use of every opportunity for doing good, so that zeal and well doing are the purchase money by which we make our time our own."
• "The days are evil" means the days are full or labors, hardships, and annoyances. Labor, hardship, and annoyances are a reality! They can be so distracting but especially in light of that truth, it is important to make the most of my time.

In light of these meanings I have personally paraphrased the verse;

"Therefore, intentionally turn your thoughts to wisdom, redeeming your time because the days are full of labor, annoyances, and hardships."

I see stewardship as exactly that... redeeming my time. Making the most of the opportunities God blesses me with. As I prayed about stewardship God put several areas of my life on my heart that I need to apply this to;

•  Our children. Training them up in the way they should go in the areas of character, spiritual, and academic development.
• Our finances. Being grateful for and taking care of the things God has blessed us with like our home and other possessions. Eliminating wasteful spending. Intentional and prayerful giving. 
• Our marriage. Continuing to invest in our most important earthly relationship.
• Physical bodies. Eating healthy, exercising, getting enough sleep. 
• Ministries. Following the Spirit's lead in choosing where and how to invest our time and energy including our professions, our church, and our community.

A few action points specifically for our family;

• Scripture memorization with the kids. 
• Work with kids to set quarterly goals for themselves.
• Revisit our budget and stick to it. 
• Practice the Sabbath.

Philippians 3:12-14 says "Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do; forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Leading up to this {Ph. 3:1-11} talks about how everything gained apart from Christ is worthless. Therefore, this verse commands me to put it behind me and forget it. Following this verse Paul goes on to describe those who, even claiming Christ, go on working hard toward their own goals {Ph. 3:18-19} and it makes Paul weep because they are missing out on the gift of living life in communion with God! In 2015 I want to steward the life God has given me well for the purpose of pressing on toward the goal of becoming like Christ with the knowledge that my true citizenship is in heaven {Ph. 3:20}.

Intentionally Focused in 2014

It's a new year! And over the past couple of weeks I have spent some time alone and with my husband thinking, praying, and discussing our goals for this year. Somehow January 1st sneaks up on me every year catching me unprepared to declare grand resolutions and instead is when I start thinking about goals after the busy-ness of the Christmas season has died down and I can think straight again. This year I had clear direction from God before the ball even dropped on New Year's Eve as to my major focus for the year but have only begun to figure out what that direction means in terms of specific goals.  My inspiration for 2014 comes from Hebrews 12:1-2;

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

In 2014, I will fix my eyes on Jesus! I will learn to live the life God has prepared for me with endurance. Endurance. It takes endurance to be the wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, that God intends me to be. And the only way to achieve that is to keep my focus in the right place! 

Today was our first day back at our home in Connecticut in over two weeks. Since all of us are sick with a nasty cold we stayed home from church and watched Seacoast Church online. Pastor Greg shared a great message which helped me to think more about specific goals for this year. He challenged us by asking What Do You Value? and What Do You Want To Change? because according to 1 Corinthians 10:23, "everything is permissible... but not everything is beneficial" and as Proverbs 17:24 says, "an intelligent person aims at wise action, but a fool starts off in many directions." He offered four areas to think about making goals in; intellectual, physical, spiritual, and relational. So as I have thought about what I value and what I want to change in each of those areas as well as how Hebrews 12:1-2 could be applied to my life in each of those areas, I've come up with a few more specific goals. 

Intellectual

As a stay-at-home-mom I often feel like my brain is dying because nothing I do as part of my "job" takes much intellect. It is one of my biggest struggles as a stay-at-home-mom because I love using my brain and learning new things. So this year I plan to further study an area of interest to help stimulate my intellect. I have always loves anatomy and physiology and I love fitness and health. I have learned that I don't want to make a career out of those interests, but that doesn't mean I can't learn more about the connection between A&P and my personal fitness routines just for fun as something to stimulate my brain. 

Physical

I have a pretty good exercise routine as it is so I plan to keep that up. I have missed my gym in CA that had great childcare because here in CT there are no gyms in my area with childcare so I have just been working out at home on my treadmill and using free weights. I greatly miss PiYo, Kickboxing and Spin class. I would love to find a video for one or more of those that I actually like. Any suggestions? I'm also open to trying one of the popular high intensity video workouts but don't really want to spend the money on one before knowing if I even like it since I've never seen a workout video I actually liked. 

Spiritual

For the past couple of years I have participated in Good Morning Girls online Bible studies which I plan to continue in 2014.

Scripture memorization has had a powerful impact on me over the past year so I would like to be more intentional about hiding more and more of God's Word in my heart. 

An area I want to work on personally that I think will pay great spiritual dividends is my desire to constantly be doing something. I attribute this to the ADD that I have had all my life. I often get bored even with just a few spare minutes. And boredom is one of my biggest fears and something that I am constantly running from. So I frantically fill my time with unnecessary tasks to make sure I am never bored. I think this attitude is hindering my spiritual life. I think I need to learn to be okay with quiet moments. I need to give God the chance to speak to me. And therefore I am going to take steps this year to limit some of the typical time-fillers I use to fill the quiet, beginning with a 21 day fast from facebook. I love facebook for keeping in touch with friends and family who are far away and I will miss you guys! But I find myself popping on there on my phone for no reason but to pass time so I think a break will be good. I will use the time to work on Scripture memory and prayer and hopefully fleshing out more of my goals for the coming year.  

Relational

2014 will be a year of lots of relational transition. We have just settled into a new home and will likely be moving again in a few months which will involve reconnecting with old friends and making new ones. Additionally, hubby will be returning to sea tour and deployments which means a transition in our marriage and also for our children. During this time, we want to make sure that we continue to be intentional about building into our marriage. One way we plan to do this is my having more media-free nights at home where we play a game or talk rather than reading our own books or watching television. I also look forward to being intentional about building relationships in our new home, wherever that may be, but don't yet know how that will look. 

These are rough starts at goals, but I wanted to write them down while they were fresh in my mind and before it gets too far into the new year to be making New Years blog posts! 

Always Content, Never Complacent {New Years Resolution}

Our pastor in Hawaii used to say, "I want to be always content, never complacent" and as a new year begins, I am claiming that phrase as my life goal for 2013.

It has taken me awhile to get where I am now as a mother; content and satisfied in my role as a SAHM.  At first I had a hard time giving up my professional identity to be "just" a mom, and later at times being "just" a mom was so overwhelmingly difficult that I yearned to return to work just to escape.  I have struggled with the lie that culture tells me that being a SAHM is insignificant.  But this year I have learned to look at my life through the lens of scripture which gives me a role model in the Proverbs 31 woman, a woman who devoted her life to the tasks of being a wife, mother, and general household manager, indicating that these tasks are significant and important to God. And now I am in a good place, a place of contentment and joy in the little tasks of motherhood.  The toddler still has tantrums, the baby still has inexplicable fussy spells and days are full of loads of laundry, little mouths to feed, and a home to manage. Despite the mundane tasks, my soul is content.  I feel like what I am doing is important and I feel privileged to be doing it.

Now that I have found contentment with what God has called me to right now as a SAHM, I am starting to feel a stirring in my soul, a longing for my life to make a difference outside of our little family bubble. This stirring is different than the longings I have had in the past.  In the past I longed to return to work to find significance.  Now, I have already found significance. This time there is just something inside of me that feels like it is going to burst, like I need to do something to help others experience the grace of God like I have.  I'm not yet sure what exactly God is calling me to at this point, but I know He is doing something in my heart to prepare me for what He has for me next and I am getting excited to learn what He is preparing me for.

This past year for me has been about finding contentment and joy regardless of circumstances. Now it would be too easy to become complacent in my own situation. But I do not want to ignore the broken world that I live in where other people need what I have in Christ. So my goal in 2013 is to be always content, never complacent.