Hey God, Let Me Help You With That!

I recently had a little chat over a period of months that went something like this...

God: I want to work on your discipline.

Me: Great! Let me help with you with that... I know, I'll sign up for a marathon!

God: You do that if you want to, but FYI, I don't really need your help. In fact, sometimes your "help" keeps you too busy for the bigger, better plans I have for you.

Maybe you can relate?

>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<

Turns out God is working on my discipline. But His means for doing so are bigger, more challenging, and more exhilarating than running a marathon. And it turns out training for a marathon is rather time consuming and it was a hobby that, though it's merit, was keeping me from pursuing my current calling. So I had to say "No" in order to have space for my "Best Yes."

It dawned on me that I often go through this scenario with God. I get a tiny spark of vision from Him (my major in college... my career path... developing a certain character quality... etc...) and then I often run with it and somehow at some point transfer the responsibility for developing and fulfilling that vision from God onto myself. It's as if He points me in the right direction and I take off running full speed ahead not listening for further direction and sometimes ignoring road signs and curbs.

In the past year and a half I have learned a lot about this as God has patiently developed humility in me by revealing my inability to achieve my best life, full of satisfying purpose, apart from Him. I am apparently a slow learner, but I am learning to slow down and wait for further directions. And I am releasing the fear of letting others down by saying No or even gracefully {and sometimes not so gracefully} backing out of things that don't support my God-give priorities and direction. I have learned to care less about what others think or want from me. And even to care less about what I think I want for myself! Because I have learned that the only way to really live is to run hard after God alone- not a vision or a dream He gives me- but God Himself. Everything else seems to work itself out when I remember to do that.

Today as I think about the vision I am able to pursue because I let go of some good things that were keeping me too busy, I smile at the hope I have for that vision. But what brings tears of joy to my eyes is the whisper of God that tells me, "you think this is exciting, but this isn't even it for you, this is just one chapter in the story I am creating out of your life!"