Flying with Young Children

As I prepare myself for my littlest's first of many cross country flights coming up this year, I have been thinking back on all the things I have learned about air travel with young children from our many flights with our 2 year old. I frequently get asked for advice about traveling with young children based on my son's resume, which includes numerous cross country and international flights, and my willingness to travel alone and pregnant with my toddler.  Hopefully you will find some of our tips and tricks useful too!

Before getting into specifics, I'll start off with my general philosophy regarding traveling with young children. It might be miserable {probably not as miserable as you think it will be, but the potential is always there...}, but it is only ONE day {even flying to the literal opposite side of the world takes less than 24 hours. I know... I've done it... 6 months pregnant with a 20 month old :-) }. The more you can make that one day like your children's normal days, the smoother it will likely go.

Stick to your usual nap/sleep schedule as much as possible 
If your child takes a morning and afternoon nap at home, try to have them do the same while traveling. You obviously may have to adjust nap times based on lay overs and such. And I know it can be difficult to get kids to go to sleep in your lap with so many distractions, but even just encouraging at least a "rest" time that follows their typical nap times helps too if you can't get them to actually sleep. {I would advise planning nap/night times based on the time zone your child is use to when you start your journey as opposed to trying to acclimate them to a new time zone the same day as traveling}

Our kids both had/have nap time items they only get at nap and night time {pacifier/special stuffed animal/blanket} which help them know that it is time to go to sleep or at least rest. We have found the special "sleep-status" of these items extremely helpful when traveling.  Even if we can't lay them down in their crib or bed, if we give them their nap items it cues them to what time it is.

We never held or rocked our children to sleep because we wanted them to know how to fall asleep on their own which has resulted in children who have a hard time falling asleep in our arms {like they are on a plane}. The one exception to this that works for us is putting them in the Ergo carrier {any baby carrier with the child facing you should work fine}. So sometimes that comes in handy for us getting them to fall asleep on a plane or in an airport.

Nurse or Drink during take-off/landing/altitude changes
As babies, both our children followed a loose nursing routine in which they nurse every 3-4 hours during the days. As a rule, I do not let them nurse between those meal times {i.e. snacking} because I want them to eat good meals. However, I throw this rule out the window when flying. Swallowing helps clear the pressure that builds up in your ears when changing altitude.  Babies and young children do not understand how to do this on their own so giving them something to swallow helps. {p.s. a pacifier doesn't do the trick because they actually need to swallow, not just suck, to clear their ears}

Both my babies have loved nursing so they would nurse whenever I offered it to them, so just after the plane takes off and right after the plane starts making its final descent to land, I would always encourage them to nurse even if it hadn't been 3 hours since their last meal. One day of "snacking" never started any bad habits when I have done this in the past.

After a year of age when my son was no longer nursing I would give him sips of juice during these times. My son only gets 1 cup of watered down juice per day so juice is a real treat for him and I know he will drink it. Doesn't matter what it is that you give your kids to swallow, just pick something that they like so you know they will drink/eat it. After going through security I would always stop and buy a bottle of juice to put in his sippy cup when he was little so that I knew I would have something ready for take-off. {A little tip I learned the hard way... if your child loves juice so much that they will guzzle the whole cup the minute you give it to them like my son... only offer them sips every few minutes so they can continue to clear their ears throughout the whole altitude change}

Bring their car seat on the plane if you can
With children under 2, you may be planning to fly with them on your lap to save money.  You can still ask the airline when you check in if they have extra space, in which case they may let you bring your car seat on the plane rather than checking it. Do it! In our experience, kids do so much better in their own car seat than on a lap or in a seat without a car seat. Probably because they already know how to behave in a car seat from daily "training" as they ride around town. This is particularly helpful if your children {like mine} do not like to fall asleep if they are being held.

{Another lesson learned the hard way on a 21 hour international journey flying pregnant without my husband with a 15 month old I had purchased a $1,000+ ticket for so I could use his car seat... if you are really set on traveling with a car seat, make sure to call the airline -do not trust their website- ahead of time to make sure they will allow your car seat.  Some airlines don't allow rear-facing car seats.}

Give them ONE toy/book at a time and put it away each time when they are done
This strategy has helped us not need to pack so much stuff which is a life saver when hauling a toddler, a car seat, and all your stuff around an airport during plane changes. I pack a few books and a few small toys or activities and rotate through them. All you parents know that your kid does not mind reading the same book over and over and over again... for once, this love of repetition works to our advantage! And if you put toys aways after each use, young children think they are new again when you bring it out again 5 minutes later.

Entertainment ideas:
Books. Remember kids don't mind reading the same one over and over!
Songs. "Old McDonald" has helped my child get over many many tantrums and keeps toddlers busy thinking of animals. Or bring and ipod with some of their favorite songs and play it softly or through ear phones if your child will wear them {I figure other passengers would rather listen to The Donut Man softly sing than my child scream}
Pictures. My son is a narcissist. He could happily look at pictures and videos of himself all day long! I always have some on my iphone that I can whip out if need be.
Videos. Our kids don't watch TV before 2 years of age as a rule, but the exception to that rule is flights... I download an episode of a kiddie show on my iphone before traveling. Now that my oldest is over 2 and has a longer attention span, I will probably bring the portable DVD player and one of his favorite videos on our future flights.
Crayons and Stickers. Once they are old enough obviously.

Packing your carry-on:
Be prepared but try not to over pack.  Over-packing will just make it more difficult for you to find what you need, not to mention, more of a pain dragging it all through the airport!  I am easily able to fit everything I need in a large zippered Land's End canvas tote that fits under the seat so I can easily reach what I need with a child on my lap.

Healthy, simple snacks. If your kids aren't use to a lot of processed sugar, flying is not the time to introduce them to it as a "treat." Who knows how it will effect your child {hyper, tummy ache, etc}. Opt for tried and true favorites, preferably that your child can feed themselves if they are old enough. We loved organic mum-mums {dissolvable rice crackers} and organic puffs when our son was really little.  Then he graduated to goldfish crackers and craisins {which he thinks are candy}. Normally our kids don't do much snacking, but when we fly, as long as it's not junk, I use snacks as a weapon against melt-downs.

Blanket for the floor. I tend to use a blanket on an empty seat next to me {if there is one} or on the floor in the back of the plane to change diapers rather than waiting in line and trying to wrangle children into a minuscule bathroom and precariously perch them on a flimsy fold down diaper changer thingy. But, whatever is easiest/most comfortable for you, do it! The blanket can play double duty in airports during lay overs when you can lay it on the floor for your baby to roll around or sit on and play a little bit for a nice break for your arms.

3 favorite books and 3 favorite small toys for rotating. My husband hates The Peekaboo Book, however it was one of my son's fav's as a baby and we'd rather read a book we hate 2,376 times in a row than listen to a baby screaming for 10 hours {and so would the other people on the plane :-P}. Moral of the story... pick your child's favorites!

Nap/night time items and a baby carrier. Pacifier, stuffed animal, blanket... whatever tells your child "it is time to sleep." For us, the baby carrier helps to keep them relatively immobile and cozy, blocks some of the distractions, and keeps our arms from falling asleep after the baby finnnnally goes to sleep and we are scared to move :-P

Change of cloths for accidents. Layers of clothes for differing temperatures. A "wet bag" or plastic bag for wet/dirty clothes.

Empty sippy or straw cup for toddler drinks.

*If you use cloth diapers like us, consider using disposables on the plane and pack the cloth in checked baggage. We've done it both ways, and for us it just isn't worth all the extra bulk and having to carry all the wet/dirty diapers along with everything else.

*If you make your own baby food like us, consider buying the organic packets with the screw-on spoon for travel.  I always keep these in my diaper bag whether traveling or not since I never know when I'll be out longer than expected and my kids will need to eat.  Having a healthy, organic fruit/veggie snack option in my bag comes in handy frequently! Plum organics makes an awesome screw-on spoon for baby food packets that you can find at Target and is great for feeding the really young ones on-the-go.

And remember...
Ultimately you cannot control your children but you can control how you respond to them. It is a long, potentially uncomfortable experience for your children and they may not behave the way we would like them to. Being considerate to those around you on the flight is of course important, but at some point there might not be anything you can reasonably do about your child's behavior, and ultimately you are a parent first.  So be apologetic if your child is making it a miserable flight for everyone, and then just focus on being the best parent to your child that you can be and most people will be surprisingly understanding and even helpful and encouraging. It probably will not be that bad, and even if it is... it is only one day!

Safe and happy travels :-)