"Seing their faith, He said, 'Friend, your sins are forgiven you...' But Jesus, aware of their reasonings, answered them and said to them, 'Why are you reasoning in your hearts? Which is easier, to say, 'Your sins are forgiven you,' or to say, 'Get up and walk?' But, so that you may know that the son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins,' -He said to the paralytic- 'I say to you, get up, and pick up your stretcher and go home.'"
~Luke 5:20, 22-24 {NASB}
My two-year-old daughter has just gone into her room for her nap, and I don’t particularly care whether she sleeps or not. I just want a good chunk of time when I don’t have to deal with her. For the past six months, she’s been hitting, throwing food, and disobeying me every day, often all throughout the day. It’s not horrible disobedience: she’s not evil, just a rascal. It’s a low-level irritation that doesn’t usually get me mad but that tires me out. Yesterday she dumped her breakfast Cheerios on the kitchen floor, then smiled at me and said, “Time out?” When I put her in time out, she got up, ran to her toy car, and rode as far as she could before I managed to put down her baby brother and catch her. Last week she whined that her friend Quinn was playing with a toy she wanted (the toy he owns), then picked up her water cup and bashed him in the head with it.
If I were God, what Dawn does on a daily basis would be considered sin. She throws away what I give her and disobeys me over and over again. Most times, she’s just being childish. She’s not trying to be rude, ungrateful, and disrespectful. Yet, if I were God, her actions would still be sin: they push her away from me by keeping her from feeling gratitude and receiving instruction. As “God,” I have the power to forgive her sins, and also to take care of her and make her life easier, physically and materially. Which is harder? Definitely the first. I get frustrated with her behavior and just want to distance myself from her because being with her is often a struggle. What I say means little to her; she’ll easily ignore me and do what she wants. And that’s tiring. I can see why foster parents would get burnt out and decide to have the kid be transferred to another place. I can see why they wouldn’t want to adopt rebellious kids. I can see why God, at the end of the appointed time, would simply want to be rid of those who turned away from Him. Why carry them with Him for eternity, after having poured love into them only to be rejected and dishonored again and again?
I wish that Dawn would listen to what I say--just listen and obey. As far as I know, I don’t tell her to do unreasonable or pointless things. I tell her what to do so that she can stay safe, be healthy, and grow into a loving person, family member, and friend. When she disobeys me, she hurts others and herself. I wish she’d get it--and yet I know that I disobey God all the time, too. Every time I hold a grudge or complain or refuse to share my time or possessions, every time I decide to just veg out instead when I haven’t sat in my Father’s presence and accepted His comfort, love, and instruction, I disobey Him and reject a lesson that could make me safer, healthier, more loving, and ultimately more like the person that God knows I’m supposed to be.
It’s harder to forgive sin than it is to just make a child’s life easier. Making my child’s life easier is often a joy: she’s usually grateful, and it’s just fun to see her happy. That’s why Dawn has way too many toys. God could easily make my life easier--perhaps with a more compliant child, or a husband who’s home more--but ease isn’t the point of this life. Maybe there’s a lesson I need to learn in continually dealing with my headstrong child and my tired, busy husband. Maybe I’ll learn an important lesson, just as Dawn would if she would choose, for once, to quit whining and share. God says to forgive others as He has forgiven me, and that with the measure that I pour out, so forgiveness will be allotted to me. I’m as bad or worse to God as Dawn is to me. I need to keep forgiving Dawn when she disobeys me and keep loving her and trying to teach her. At the same time, I want to start listening to Him, and taking His directions seriously. He shouldn’t have to tell me multiple times to stop doing something wrong, or to do something good.
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