This week Good Morning Girls studied 1 John 2:1-11:
"My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have and Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world. By this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. The one who says, "I have come to know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked. Beloved, I am not writing a new commandment to you, but an old commandment which you have had from the beginning; the old commandment is the word which you have heard. One the other hand, I am writing a new commandment to you, which is true in Him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true Light is already shining. The one who says he is in the Light and yet hates his brother is in the darkness until now. The one who loves his brother abides in the Light and there is no cause for stumbling in him. But the one who hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes."
About a year and a half ago I was really blindsided and hurt by someone I considered to be a very close friend. I don't know why this person did what they did because after hours and days and months of racking my brain about what I did to her to make her dislike me so much that she would hurt me in the way that she did, I still haven't come up with anything. I never confronted her about it (I hate confrontation) and just backed away from the friendship. I never betrayed her trust, but when others asked me what happened, in my hurt and confusion, I would relay my side of the story. I am not particularly proud of how I handled that situation. When it all happened I was physically tense for days, emotionally tense for months, and even up until this week, over a year later, when I thought about this person or came across a picture of us, my heart would seize with hurt. I didn't necessarily want bad things to happen to her, but I certainly didn't want good things to happen to her.
I obviously tried my best to "get over it" and forgive her because I of course didn't enjoy the bitter feelings and hurt I experienced every time I was reminded of the her. With time my emotions about the situation became a little less intense. And with an overseas move (away from many of the things that reminded me of her) I thought of her less and less and thus the hurt, anger, and resentment would stay at bay more and more to the point where I thought I was "over it." But when I recently learned of her pregnancy (which would definitely be in the good-things-happening-to-her category) the familiar resentful feelings returned. I was completely incapable of forgiving this girl by my own power, the hurt was too deep.
However, this week I've been studying 1 John with the Good Morning Girls and in the passage I studied this week John says that one of the key evidences of true faith is keeping God's commandments. These commandments actually boil down to one ~simple~ task: love. If I love someone I will not slander them, I will not lie to them, I will not intentionally bring harm to them in any way. In this way, "love covers a multitude of sins" 1 Peter 4:8. If I love someone, I will desire good things for them, help to bring about good things for them, and rejoice when good things happen to them. I say this is "simple" but loving is not always so simple after all. It is easy to love our friends, but much more difficult to love those that hate us and intentionally hurt us. This kind of love, love for those who hate us, is the kind that is only supernaturally possible. And thus, this kind of love is evidence of salvation because it represents God's power working in our life.
I don't know what brought my old friend to mind this week while I was at the gym in a spinning class, but her pregnancy popped into my head during a particularly intense hill climb (the kind where you think your body can't possibly push any further, but then you turn up the resistance and your body does indeed push further) and without even thinking about it, I was genuinely happy for her. These sentiments caught me off guard because I was not use to feeling that way about her. I know for a fact that it was not of my own will that I was able to get to this place of love for her. And I thank God for letting me struggle with this issue for as long as I have just to make His magnificent power abundantly clear to me when He finally decided to use the verses in 1 John that I studied this week to change my heart to be more like His in regards to my old friend. To God be the glory for relieving me of my bitterness and replacing it with His love!
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