Our littlest has been home from the hospital for 2 weeks today. She will be a whole month old on Saturday! There is just so much to say about her that I don't know where to start, which is half the reason I haven't written anything yet {the other half is that life is just a little bit busy with 2 littles!}.
Being a mom for the second time is a totally different experience. The first time around I didn't have a clue what I was doing so I stuck tight to my "plan" just to maintain some inkling of control. As much as I was overwhelmingly in love with my first, I didn't enjoy him to the fullest because I was stressed out at the thought of doing something wrong and "ruining our lives" by creating bad habits in him. With my first I also went through a serious identity crisis in which I went from being a full time working professional and graduate student to a full time mom who temporarily put graduate school on hold. It was a difficult transition for me.
The past {almost} two years with my son have taught me so much and God has used my little guy to make me a much better mother {and person in general}. I love my "job" as a SAHM now and cherish the fact that I get to be a part of my children learning and growing everyday. I have learned that even though I regularly screw up as a parent, God's mercy towards me is new everyday. Furthermore, children seem to have a great capacity for forgiveness, as I have had to ask my son many times to forgive me. I have also learned that just because I mess up as a parent or overlook something I should be doing with/for my child, doesn't mean that our lives will be ruined. Q has taught me just how adaptable children are and if I forget to teach him something one month or need to change a procedure he is use to, it only takes a couple of days at most to get back on the right track. Furthermore, as a result of having so many wonderful mommy friends, I have learned that no one parenting philosophy or strategy is "right" or creates the perfect children, and thus, if I don't implement one perfectly, it isn't the end of the world. First of all... children have a will of their own and regardless of our excellent parenting, the child ultimately chooses what they will do {a lesson that released me from a lot of guilt and anxiety about my parenting}. And secondly, parenting philosophies and strategies are most effective when they fit the personality of the family. Trying to do something that doesn't fit our family because it has been effective for others is not useful {neither is getting in debates with other parents about the "best" philosophy}.
All that to say, becoming a mom again has been such a blessed experience. I am free to enjoy my baby girl without all the first-time-parent anxiety {that I didn't realize I had at the time}. I am more comfortable with taking care of an infant and am already use to thinking in mommy-mode which makes things like getting out of the house less stressful this time around. I know from experience that this phase in our lives will not last forever, which has actually enabled me to not only survive, but even cherish, middle-of-the-night feedings when I have quiet moments to cuddle and bond with my little girl minus all the distractions of having a toddler, and chores, and places to be that occur during the day. I know that my sleep won't be interrupted forever, and I know that one day too soon I will miss smelling sweet baby breath and staring into sleepy baby eyes at 2am.
So, if any of you know of a way to freeze time so I can preserve this precious phase in our family's life, please let me know!
No comments:
Post a Comment