"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them. Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart. Slaves, in all things obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality." ~Colossians 3:15-25 (NASB, emphasis mine)
This has not been the best week in our household or for me personally. The combination of post-partum hormones, sick children, a gravely sick spouse, and the onset of sibling jealousy has made for a difficult week.
The first challenge to arrive was the tidal wave of post-partum hormones. Those pesky things that take a relatively rational woman and turn her into an irritable, emotional mess. Random little things that are of no significance have the power to annoy her to the point of snapping at those she loves most-- or possibly worse, storing up those feelings and letting them fester inside of her making it difficult to think nice thoughts and remember all the things she actually loves about the offenders.
The second ongoing challenge has been sickness. Q had a fever and then a cold. Husband suffered with misdiagnosed severe pneumonia for 5 days before finally getting the correct diagnosis and being admitted to the hospital. And LK also caught Q's cold. I have been legitimately worried and scared for the health of my entire family. Husband is more sick and debilitated than I have ever seem him during our 12+ year relationship. There is nothing I, or anyone, can really do for him. The nature of his illness would be extremely dangerous to either of our children and would likely kill our newborn premie which despite our precautions (husband is quarantined to our bedroom and my hands are dry and cracked from all the hand washing) has caused me lots of anxiety.
The third ingredient of this recipe for disaster is what I believe is the onset of Q's jealousy towards LK. Fortunately, he doesn't express any negative emotions towards LK but he has been throwing temper tantrums and acting out more frequently than usual which I believe is attention-seeking behavior. This is particularly challenging this week since I am pretty much flying solo parenting considering husband is completely incapacitated, not to mention quarantined (which might also have something to do with Q's crankiness).
All that to say, peace has not exactly been ruling in my heart. And thankfulness hasn't come naturally this week. I have so appreciated these verses that we have studied because I have really had to claim the bold portions above this week to keep my attitude and actions in check. I have had to remember that regardless of what is going on in my life, every word I speak and every deed I perform should be representative of Christ in my life and should be an expression of my thankfulness of what He has done for me in giving me new life. I have had to remember that through serving my family, my service and hard work is really for the Lord. And I have had to claim Christ's peace even in the midst of worrying for my husband and children's lives.
I am grateful for the power behind these words because it is only by His power that I am experiencing peace and that I am able to appreciate the many blessings, big and little, in each of my days regardless of the trials.
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