Happy Halloween!

 Last night we hosted a Halloween costume party and game night for a few friends.  We had a great time decorating the house in cobwebs, spiders, and candles.  And I had fun making some spooky treats like mummy wrapped sausages, cobweb pizza, deviled egg "eyeballs," frankenstein rice krispy treats, and graveyard oreo dirt cake with the help of some friends.

 The guest list included; a past due bill (our overdue preggo friend) and bill collector (her hubby), race car drivers complete with a race track and stop light, a farmer with scarecrow and flower, 20's flappers, the crew from Gilligan's island, ballerinas, ghostbusters, the "good night moon" bunny, a clown, Waldo, and even Popeye and Olive Oil.

Popeye and Olive Oil were the lucky winners of the costume contest and received a lovely prize ghost mug full of slime!

As is custom with this wonderful group of friends, we had a little male vs. female competitive Catch Phrase game.  And as if we needed the extra incentive, the winners received homemade caramel apples. Of course the ladies bested the guys two out of three times but I think our husbands are pretty lucky because I'm sure all the sweet ladies at this party shared... maybe a little bite... :-P

Such a fun night made special by being surrounded by good friends, good conversation, and lots of laughter. Gotta love Halloween for bringing out the kid in all of us:)

Practice Makes Perfect {GMG Week 6 Reflection}

Last week the Good Morning Girls studied 1 John 3:1-10:

"See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure. Everyone who practices sin also practices lawlessness; and sin in lawlessness. You know that He appeared in order to take away sins; and in Him there is no sin. No one who abides in Him sins; no one who sins had seen Him or knows Him. Little children, made sure no one deceives you; the one who practices righteousness is righteous, just as He is righteous; the one who practices sin is of the devil; for the devil had sinned from the beginning.  The Son of God appeared for this purpose, to destroy the works of the devil. No one who is born of God practices sin, because His seed abides in him; and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. By this the children of God and the children of the devil are obvious: anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor the one who does not love his brother." (NASB)

On first glance this passage seemed confusing to me because no one is perfect, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23) so it seems impossible to attain what John is suggesting. Upon further meditation on the passage I think the main point is that as a Christian I should be practicing righteousness. According to dictionary.com, practice means "to perform (an activity) or exercise (a skill) repeatedly or regularly in order to improve or maintain one's proficiency." So certainly if I am regularly and repeated practicing sin, that would be a pretty good indication that I am not abiding in God. Sin, John calls "lawlessness" which I take to mean having and attitude of I-do-whatever-I-want without regard for what is right or how my actions might affect others. Jesus came to take away sin, and the more I get to know Him, the more I become like Him, and the more I am like Him, the less I am able to sin.

I think I personally needed to hear these words John wrote because sometimes I don't take sin nearly as seriously as I should.  Since I believe that Christ's righteousness covers my sin, I sometimes feel like sin is just not that big of a deal.  But sin is a big deal. And habitual sin is evidence that I'm not really walking with God. So I have really been focusing on verse 3 this week, "And everyone who has this hoped fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure." I want to purify myself and get into the habit of practicing righteousness. Because as the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

One area where I can work on purifying myself which I think will go a long way towards helping me practice righteousness is in my thoughts. Driving around in my car I often let my mind wander and often it unfortunately settles on playing the "comparison game" in which I compare various aspects of myself with those of other women which generally only leads to either jealousy or pride, neither of which are really qualities I desire for myself. The other day while driving around I started to play this game and the Spirit reminded me of verse 3 so I shifted gears from comparing myself to other women to thinking of why I am so thankful for the influence other women have in my life.  By the end of the short car ride I was even plotting ways to bless them for being so wonderful! Amazing what a little dose of God's Word can do:)

ch-ch-ch-changes...

As a military family we are very familiar with change. We rarely live in one place longer than a year and we have almost no control over where we will end up next. Additionally, since many of our friends are military as well, they also come and go such that we are always saying goodbye to somebody.  I am use to this and I have accepted it and I honestly even like it this way most of the time.  Sure, I miss our friends who move away and I am sad to leave friends when we move away but there are always new friendships to look forward to as well.

Despite my acceptance regarding this fact of our life, I've been kind of sad about it lately.  A few months ago an opportunity came up for my husband to apply for a graduate program in Singapore. He applied and was selected so we will be temporarily moving to Singapore early next spring.  I've always wanted to live overseas and this short 6 month program seems like the perfect opportunity. Plus, it means an extra 6 months of coveted shore tour time before he has to go back to a boat!

Now I can't really "complain" about this change because it was our choice to apply to this program and thus break up our continuous 2 years living in the same location.  And I am super excited for the adventure I know it will be! But I have never lived in one place, moved away, and then come back to that place, which is what we will be doing.  And while we are gone of course things are going to change and many of our closest friends will be gone or shortly leaving this duty station when we return and I am already having anxiety about missing my dear girlfriends!

These girls mean the world to me. Becoming a mom this past year has totally changed me in ways I never expected or could have anticipated and I have relied so much on my friends here to help me learn and grow without becoming totally overwhelmed.  The ladies in this picture are the wives in our small group through our church.  I had the waitress snap this shot on my phone camera this evening during our weekly pho date (pho is a Vietnamese noodle soup for those of you that haven't had it).

The 5 of us get together every Sunday afternoon for pho and generally sit in the restaurant gabbing for at least 4 hours.  And if the restaurant closes, we stand outside on the sidewalk talking some more for sometimes over an hour.  And this is not idle gossip.  We talk about the deep, meaningful aspects of our lives.  We talk about our hopes, and dreams, and struggles, and fears.  And we are becoming better women because of each others influence in our lives.  My friend J who was visiting last week joined us for pho last weekend and commented to me how we all have strikingly different personalities and yet are so obviously close knit. This is true, we are all very different and even at different stages of life with children of varying ages and some with no children yet or expecting children, and yet we all have something to offer.

This week we met for our pho date on Friday night instead of Sunday afternoon because C is 40+ weeks pregnant and could be having her baby any day and we wanted to squeeze in "one more" Pho date before baby shows up, at which point we plan to move our pho date to pho-carry-out in C's living room! The impending arrival of C's little one is just the first of a long series of changes coming up for our group which I think we are all in denial about.  C's having a baby, then C is moving near Christmas time, then L is moving in the spring right around the time we leave for Singapore, and then S will be moving at the same time we get back from Singapore shortly followed by J and then I will be the only one left out of this little group which I'm really trying not to think about!

I was relaying my sentiments about this over pho tonight and second guessing our choice to go to Singapore and miss 6 months that I could be spending with S and J who will still be in the area while we are gone. And C reminded me what another friend had said regarding their decision not to pursue the graduate program in Singapore.  A deciding factor in their choice not to apply was that they love their life here and they didn't want it to change.  But know, with 4 of their close friends leaving for Singapore (us and another family) everything is changing anyway.

I think this is a good point.  Change is inevitable.  Even when we try to keep things the same, life goes on and things change.  And I'm grateful for this; for the opportunity to learn and grow, for the blessing of new experiences and new friends, and for the sweet memories I am making with my friends now.

I feel so incredibly blessed to share this little sliver of time with these amazing women.  I know God put them in my life for a reason. I have really needed their support, encouragement and wisdom this year. And though I don't want to let them go, I know that God has big plans for all of us and I trust that He will continue to bless us with other friends that will come into our lives in the future.

(okay, that may have been a little melodramatic considering I'm not moving for another 5 months... but I love these ladies! ... and all my other wonderful friends here!)

Herbivore/Omnivore Mixed Menu

Lately I've been on a bit of a hiatus from veganism due to my love of fall favorites like chili and pumpkin mousse. So for this season I will attempt to take a more moderate approach allowing myself to indulge in my favorites now and then while still incorporating many of the things I've learned over the past 6 months since I've been exploring veganism.

Aside from fall favorite foods another big reason I've been on a break from veganism is that it is a lot of work constantly seeking out new satisfying recipes for a whole new lifestyle and I was getting weary of always worrying about what we are going to eat.  I've always loved to cook and it was making cooking more of a dreaded chore.  AND I was beginning to feel bad about depriving my poor husband of the food he loves (even though he always said he was on board with the vegan thing). This became apparent last week when I made an old favorite burger recipe for dinner and he was giddy as a school boy with excitement from the moment he came in the door and smelled me cooking.

So to simplify things I made this 7 night menu with complementing herbivore and omnivore options so that I could potentially cook both vegan and non-vegan food without having to plan two completely separate meals.  I also stuck to simple recipes for weeks I don't have the time/energy/motivation to plan or cook anything fancy.

For example, on "grill night" I can marinate some portobellas and some tri tip steak and cook them at the same time to make me and hubby happy or on "pasta night" I can cook whole wheat pasta and make marinara and then add some mushrooms to mine and ground meat to hubby's. Hopefully this will help me to stick to my new eating habits as well as keep my man happy:)

If you are interested in any of the specific recipes on the menu, please leave a comment and I'll be happy to get them to you!

Pizza Night	Burger Night	Pasta Night	Veggie Pie Night	Mexican Night	Grill Night	Soup Night
Amy’s frozen roasted veggie pizza Make your own	Morning Star Southwest Black Bean Burgers Make your own black bean burgers	Marinara w/mushrooms Garlic & Olive Oil w/ zucchini & squash risotto chilled veggie pasta	Galette w/ spinach, butternut squash, carrots, onions, tomatoes Galette w/ kale, sweet potatoes, onion, mushrooms Zucchini cakes	Fajitas w/ marinated grilled veggies, black beans and corn Tacos w/ seasoned tofu, salsa, corn, guac Burritos w/ rice, refried beans, grilled veggies, salsa, guac  Quesidilla w/ beans and veggies	Marinated portobellas over arugula w/ basalmic and pita Chick’n patties Terriyaki eggplant sandwiches	Sweet Potato, Apple, Carrot & Lentil Soup Veggie Chili
Your favorite frozen pizza Takeout Make your own	Bubba burgers (frozen) Turkey burgers w/ apple and brie Rachel Ray burgers: spinach and herd big bistro swordfish	Marinara w/ meat sauce Alfredo w/ brocolli & chicken Pesto w/ chicken seared scallops w/ risotto chilled veggie pasta w/ tuna	Crock Pot recipe:  Beer BBQ Chicken Dr Pepper Pork Pot Roast Kalua Pork	Fajitas w/ grilled meat Tacos w/ seasoned ground meat & cheese Burritos w/ shredded chicken  Quesidilla w/ black beans & cheese	Fish Tri-tip Ribs Steak & portobella ciabatta lemon chicken sandwich	Italian Sub Stoup Black Bean Chili

GMG Week 5 Reflection

I'm a little behind in posting my Good Morning Girls reflection for week 5 because I had a good friend visiting this weekend.  We did enjoy some beautiful quiet time on the beach together Sunday morning (well... as quiet as it gets with a 10 month old and 2 wild dogs...) but I haven't had the chance to write about what I've been learning until now.

"Children, it is the last hour; and just as you heard that antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have appeared; from this we know that it is the last hour. They went out from us, but they were not really of us; for if they had been of us, they would have remained with us; but they went out, so that it would be shown that they all are not of us. But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and you all know. I have not written to you because you do not know the truth, but because you do know it, and because no lie is of the truth.  Who is the liar but the one who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the antichrist, the one who denies the Father and the Son.  Whoever denies the Son does not have the Father; the one who confesses the Son has the Father also. As for you, let that abide in you which you heard from the beginning. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, you also will abide in the Son and in the Father. This is the promise which He Himself made to us: eternal life. These things I have written to you concerning those who are trying to deceive you. As for you, the anointing which you received from Him abides in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you; but as His anointing teaches you about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you abide in Him. Now, little children, abide in Him, so that when He appears, we may have confidence and not shrink away from Him in shame at His coming. If you know that He is righteous, you know that everyone also who practices righteousness is born of Him." ~1 John 2:18-29 (NASB)

The major theme that jumped out at me day after day as I was studying these verses was the importance of truth. If the truth abides in me then I am in a relationship with God and will get to participate in the promise of eternal life.

Truth seems like such a simple thing. And it is a simple thing... something is either true or it is false, those are the only two options. The problem is there are so many deceiving things in the world that make such a simple concept seem very confusing.  Thank God for the anointing of the Holy Spirit to give us discernment!

As I've already learned in 1 John, God is light and that light exposes the truth.  When I come into His presence, whether I willingly come into His presence now, or whether I come into His presence on the last day when He returns, or I come into His presence on judgement day, His light will expose me for who I really am.  If I am not walking in the light, then this exposure will be cause for shame. If I am walking in the light and confessing and repenting of my shortcomings, then I can be confident with no cause for shame because my shortcomings will have been covered with Christ's righteousness.

~

I personally needed the reminder of my anointing this week.  I sometimes get bogged down in studying Scripture or in theological discussions with friends in which it all seems so confusing and complicated and I just want to give up trying to understand and rest in knowing "the basics." But I don't just want to be casual friends with God, I want a deep relationship and that means getting to know Him more and more through His Word.  The passage this week was so encouraging to me to keep pursuing an understanding of truth because I have God's own Spirit teaching me.

Princess Crab visits California

(The Fromille Family}

{Princess Brat, Q & Princess Crab}

This weekend my good friend J (who I lovingly refer to as "Princess Crab" due to her *shining* personality when she first wakes up in the morning) has been visiting.  Princess Crab and I met when we worked on the waterfront staff as camp counselors at Sandy Hill Camp and lived together for two awesome summers on the Chesapeake Bay.  We bonded through shared experiences waterskiing, teaching campers to sail (and our favorite sailing game of pirates) and allowing campers to cover us head to toe in mud.  We have seen each other at our best and at our worst, for example, the nickname I earned is "Princess Brat."

Our lives have taken different turns since our college summers working at camp.  J owns her own condo near a big city and works in corporate America and still invests in youth through volunteering with Young Life.  And I am a military wife and stay-at-home-mommy. But even though our lives look very different, our bond still remains strong.  Some people you are friends with because you are at the same stage in life and share a lot in common and that is great, I am so grateful for friends in my life like that! But then there are those friends with whom you share more, and J is one of those. In addition to being old camp buddies, we are also sisters in Christ and she is the kind of friend that despite distance and time I can rely on to call me out when I need to be called out on something and who I can always rely on for godly conversation and advice when needed.

J has been so faithful about visiting me wherever the Navy sends our family but has always come to visit while hubby has been away for work because I'm always grateful to have the company when he is gone! This visit though it was my pleasure to finally introduce one of my dearest friends to my husband and son and get to share my family life with J. Always up for adventure, we've had a great weekend exploring the central Cali coast.  The above pictures were taken on a hike to Pfeiffer Falls yesterday.

While hiking, J and I were discussing how we are baffled by how anyone could experience the breathtaking beauty of nature and still deny the existence of the Creator. Later, while driving back from the hike along the Pacific coast highway at sunset we were marveling at some light fluffy fog beginning to blanket the shimmering Pacific and cover an offshore island like swirly whipped topping. As we marveled, my son pulled his pacifier out of his mouth, distressed that J's attention was not solely on him, and let out a yell as if to say, "hey, I'm the real masterpiece here!" And I think that is so fitting, because it is so true. As beautiful as nature is, humans, created in the image of God, are the masterpiece of all creation.  And friendships, like Princess Crab and Princess Brat, are far more beautiful than any waterfall or sea cliff or sunset.

Fall is... pumpkins, football, chili

I love fall!  Even though here on the central coast of California we are having our belated summer right now (finally) there is something about the air that just feels like fall.  I remember walking out of my house last week heading to take our pups for a walk and fall hit me.  I can't put my finger on it because it was a warm sunny day, but fall was definitely in the air! So after our walk I came home and made my shopping list to cook up some delicious fall food. (see some of my favorite recipes later in the post!!!) Of those delicious fall foods pumpkin is a staple. I came home from the grocery store with 6 cans of pumpkin last week and hubby laughed, but I am now down to just 1 left! 

Since Halloween is approaching and since the weather has been so glorious, we took Q to the pumpkin patch, picked out this beauty and carved our first family pumpkin! How is it that we have been married over 5 years and yet to carve a pumpkin??? Oh right... we're a Navy family and for some reason our relocations typically leave us homeless during the fall/pumpkin carving season:-P

Our inspiration for our pumpkin design is another fall staple... football!  The background noise to our life on fall weekends is football on the TV. I am not one that likes always having the TV on but for some reason in the fall the sound of a game broadcast is almost as comforting as a big bowl of chili. Even better if I can eat the big bowl of chili while watching a good game! (see my favorite chili recipe later in this post!)

Since we are so fortunate to be from Maryland, home of the BEST NFL team in the country... we carved a Raven on our pumpkin. (I use the term "we" here very loosely... what I actually mean is my husband carved a raven on the pumpkin. He's pretty good with a knife don't ya think?)

If you need a little inspiration for fall cooking, look no further!  I've included my favorite chili recipe and a yummy (and easy) pumpkin mousse recipe passed on to me from a good friend.  Enjoy!

Black Bean Chili (adapted from Boston Uncommon cookbook)
1 Tbsp Olive Oil
1 lb ground turkey
1 large onion
2 carrots, chopped
2 ribs celery, chopped
3 garlic cloves, minced
4 cans black beans
4 cups chicken broth
1 6oz can tomato paste
1 Tbsp cumin
1 tsp ground red pepper
1 can corn
1 cup cooked brown rice

Heat oil in a large pot. Add turkey, crumble and brown till cooked through. Add onion, carrots, celery, garlic and cook for 10 minutes or until veggies are tender. Add beans, broth, tomato paste, cumin, and red pepper. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for 2 hours, adding more broth if the chili gets to thick. Stir in the corn and rice and enjoy!

Anna's Pumpkin Mousse

1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1 16-ounce can solid-pack pumpkin (not pumpkin-pie mix)
1 package vanilla flavor instant pudding and pie filling for 4 servings
1 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
2 cups heavy or whipping cream

In large bowl with wire whisk, mix pumpkin, pudding mix, milk, vanilla extract, cinnamon, ginger, allspice, and 1/3 cup packed brown sugar until well blended. In another bowl, with mixer at medium speed, beat heavy or whipping cream until stiff peaks form. Fold 2/3 of the whipped cream into pumpkin mixture. Spoon pumpkin mixture into 8 10- ounce goblets or into a large serving bowl. Top with reserved 1/3 of the whipped cream. Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve. Pumpkin mixture tastes best if refrigerated for at least 30 minutes before serving.

GMG Week 4 Reflection

The second half of Good Morning Girls week 4 study of 1John was on the following verses;

"Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever." ~1 John 2:15-17 (NASB)

Yikes! That definitely puts the fear of God in me! "If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him." Whoa!

I know that this life and everything in it is temporary. Regardless of what you believe about God, no one can deny that.  We all die and our current circumstances will no longer matter. But, sometimes just knowing that something is true still doesn't change my heart.  I know that this world is passing away and nothing lasts, buuuut I want to enjoy it while I can! I don't know how to make myself not love this world.  In theory, I am totally on board with this passage, but in practice I find it impossible to implement.

I think one of the main things I am learning through this study of 1 John is that living out the commands in the Bible takes supernatural power. Being a Christian is about more than just following "the rules" because it is impossible to follow the rules in my own power.  The Bible says "love your neighbor" and in my own power I might be able to, for the most part, act lovingly toward others, but the Bible doesn't say "act like you love your neighbor" it just says "love your neighbor" and I can't really make myself do that in the full sense of the word love. Just like I can't make myself hate worldly things.  I can deny myself worldly things... but again, that isn't the same as hating them.

Coming up against this realization that I cannot, in my own power, be the person that God wants me to be... that I cannot be the person that I want to be... is humbling. I must confess, I am a pretty prideful person and I have always taken pride in the fact that when I set my mind to something, I have always been able to achieve it.  I am a total "American" and like the feeling of having control over my own destiny.  I guess what I am describing is what John refers to as "the boastful pride of life."

So now, finding that I actually cannot just set my mind to "be a good Christian" and achieve it based on my own hard work is both frustrating and freeing. Frustrating, because I find great satisfaction in accomplishing tasks, and because I like things to get done on my time (which means, NOW). Freeing, because it takes some of the self-impossed pressure off of me to be perfect.

In whatever ways my character and heart look like Christ's, it is because of His power working in me, not my own. So instead of the glory going to me, it goes to Him. Which is exactly how it should be. So this week (and every week...) I am trusting in the supernatural power of God to change my heart in regards to loving the things of this world.

This reminds me of one of my favorite worship songs;

"Glory to God, Glory to God, Glory to God forever. 

Take my life and let it be all for You and for Your glory, 

Take my life and let it be Yours."

Baby MBK is punctual!

My girlfriend L had her sweet baby girl Friday evening!  MBK was right on time, one of those extremely rare babies who decided to show up on her actual due date:-P

When I woke up Friday morning to the news that L was in labor I spent the entire day checking my phone and facebook constantly for updates awaiting the happy news.  I was so elated to get a call from L soon after MB's arrival to hear how absolutely perfect the little princess is.  And we were so overjoyed to get to meet little miss MB yesterday when we visited them at the hospital.  Of course you wouldn't know it was the hospital because lil miss was all decked out in her precious monogramed attire without a stitch of standard hospital attire in sight.  But we didn't expect any different from a little princess like MB!

The greatest part for me (other than getting to hold sweet baby girl) was to see the transformation in my dear friend L. I haven't had many friends that I've known (and been around- thanks Navy...) before, during, and after pregnancy.  So watching L go from woman to mother was amazing.  And being a new mom myself, it brought back memories of my own recent transformation that was only 10 short months ago but somehow feels like a lifetime ago.  The instant you meet your baby for the first time it's like your life has a whole new meaning and purpose.  Your responsibility doubles from taking care of yourself to caring for a helpless new little human.  And your heart fills with more love than you ever thought possible.  I could hear it the moment I picked up the phone when L called after MB's birth that she is different, forever changed, she is a mother.

Congrats L and J on your sweet baby girl!  And thank you for letting us share in the joy of her arrival!

(the cutest "happy birthday" sign L made for MB)

Life = Growth {GMG Reflection}

This week the Good Morning Girls are studying 1 John 2:12-17.  I am only half way through so far:

"I am writing to you, little children, because your sins have been forgiven you for His name's sake.  I am writing to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning.  I am writing to you young men, because you have overcome the evil one.  I have written to you, children, because you know the Father.  I have written to you, fathers, because you know Him who has been from the beginning.  I have written to you, young men, because you are strong, and the word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one." (1 John 2:12-14, NASB)

This little section has me thinking about spiritual maturity because John talks about children, young men, and fathers and their growing relationships with God.  I was reading a commentary on these verses that  said, "...life is equal to growth. Growth is evidence of life." My poor herb garden is a perfect example of this concept; the herbs aren't growing, and the herbs aren't living.  Yep, the sad story of my black thumb! On the other hand, I have two overflowing bins of children's clothing that my son has outgrown in his short 10 months of life.  He is growing like a weed, learning new things everyday, and very much alive! So apparently it must be easier to keep a baby human alive than to keep plants alive?

Anyway... to grow in my relationship with God I need to know Him better and allow His word to abide in me like the young men in the passage.  This is a scary concept to me because in my experience coming to know God better generally prompts me to action.  And the actions I am prompted to take are generally not easy.

It seems to me that the truth always requires a response.  If you follow this blog at all, you know that in the past year I've experimented with a vegan lifestyle.  At first I didn't know anything about it, but as I learned the truth about the American food system, and the truth about what our bodies were designed to eat, it became difficult to ignore the truth and continue eating a "healthy" omnivorous diet.  Now that I know the truth, I can't un-know it and it does make it difficult for me to enjoy some of my old favorite foods that I use to consider healthy.  So in some respects, ignorance is bliss.  But do I really want to be ignorant?

Furthermore, do I really want to be ignorant with regards to God? No, I don't.  I want to keep growing and I want to live the life God has designed for me.  Because I trust that the life God has designed for me  is greater and more fulfilling than whatever plans I make for myself.  I know this from experience because every time following God has led me to something scary or difficult and I actually did it, He has rewarded me beyond what I could imagine.

So, even though I am still scared of how God will challenge me and how far out of my comfort zone He is going to take me, today I am praying for courage.  Courage to really open myself up and ask God to show me how I need to change so that I can become more like Him.

GMG Week 3 Reflection

This week Good Morning Girls studied 1 John 2:1-11:

"My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin.  And if anyone sins, we have and Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world.  By this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. The one who says, "I have come to know Him," and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.  Beloved, I am not writing a new commandment to you, but an old commandment which you have had from the beginning; the old commandment is the word which you have heard.  One the other hand, I am writing a new commandment to you, which is true in Him and in you, because the darkness is passing away and the true Light is already shining. The one who says he is in the Light and yet hates his brother is in the darkness until now. The one who loves his brother abides in the Light and there is no cause for stumbling in him.  But the one who hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes."

About a year and a half ago I was really blindsided and hurt by someone I considered to be a very close friend.  I don't know why this person did what they did because after hours and days and months of racking my brain about what I did to her to make her dislike me so much that she would hurt me in the way that she did, I still haven't come up with anything.  I never confronted her about it (I hate confrontation) and just backed away from the friendship.  I never betrayed her trust, but when others asked me what happened, in my hurt and confusion, I would relay my side of the story.  I am not particularly proud of how I handled that situation.  When it all happened I was physically tense for days, emotionally tense for months, and even up until this week, over a year later, when I thought about this person or came across a picture of us, my heart would seize with hurt.  I didn't necessarily want bad things to happen to her, but I certainly didn't want good things to happen to her.

I obviously tried my best to "get over it" and forgive her because I of course didn't enjoy the bitter feelings and hurt I experienced every time I was reminded of the her.  With time my emotions about the situation became a little less intense.  And with an overseas move (away from many of the things that reminded me of her) I thought of her less and less and thus the hurt, anger, and resentment would stay at bay more and more to the point where I thought I was "over it." But when I recently learned of her pregnancy (which would definitely be in the good-things-happening-to-her category) the familiar resentful feelings returned.  I was completely incapable of forgiving this girl by my own power, the hurt was too deep.

However, this week I've been studying 1 John with the Good Morning Girls and in the passage I studied this week John says that one of the key evidences of true faith is keeping God's commandments.  These commandments actually boil down to one ~simple~ task: love.  If I love someone I will not slander them, I will not lie to them, I will not intentionally bring harm to them in any way.  In this way, "love covers a multitude of sins" 1 Peter 4:8.  If I love someone, I will desire good things for them, help to bring about good things for them, and rejoice when good things happen to them.   I say this is "simple" but loving is not always so simple after all.  It is easy to love our friends, but much more difficult to love those that hate us and intentionally hurt us.  This kind of love, love for those who hate us, is the kind that is only supernaturally possible. And thus, this kind of love is evidence of salvation because it represents God's power working in our life.

I don't know what brought my old friend to mind this week while I was at the gym in a spinning class, but her pregnancy popped into my head during a particularly intense hill climb (the kind where you think your body can't possibly push any further, but then you turn up the resistance and your body does indeed push further) and without even thinking about it, I was genuinely happy for her.  These sentiments caught me off guard because I was not use to feeling that way about her.  I know for a fact that it was not of my own will that I was able to get to this place of love for her.  And I thank God for letting me struggle with this issue for as long as I have just to make His magnificent power abundantly clear to me when He finally decided to use the verses in 1 John that I studied this week to change my heart to be more like His in regards to my old friend. To God be the glory for relieving me of my bitterness and replacing it with His love!

GMG Week 2 Reflection

This week the Good Morning Girls studied 1 John 1:5-10.

"This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us." (NASB)

Confession... Sometimes I like living in the darkness. I want to cover up those parts of my character that I am not proud of. I like not having the accountability of the light exposing some of my thoughts and deeds. But God is light, and I want to be near Him, I want to become more like Him. So I am challenged this week to leave the "comfort" of hiding in the darkness.

I am reminded of a silly little habit of my sister's. My gorgeous sister Megan only wants to have her picture taken on her "good side." If we are posing for a photo and she realizes that her body is angled such that her "bad side" is facing the camera she will hurriedly reorganize everyone or strike some awkward pose so that only her "good side" is showing. This habit cracks me up because in all honesty, my sister doesn't have a "bad side" and no one understands this silly little quirk of hers! But when the topic of living in the light comes up I feel kind of like my sister, scrambling to get into position so that the light shines on my good qualities, while those aspects of my character that I am ashamed of stay hidden in the shadows.

God is Light. And just like when we turn on the lights in a dark room, the light exposes the room for what it is; when I let the word of God shine on my life, I am exposed for who I am. And the truth is, I am just a sinner and there are things about me that I would rather not show off. In fact, there are things about me that I don't even want to think about or deal with myself.

But, if I choose to hide part of myself in darkness I cannot have true fellowship with God or others. One of the things I love about my marriage is that I feel like my husband knows me really well. He knows my faults probably better than anyone and he still chooses to love me. The "full disclosure" between my husband and myself is one of the reasons I feel like we have such a close relationship. I don't have to hide those parts of myself I am ashamed of because I am worried he won't love me, because he already knows those parts of me and has proven his faithfulness and love despite those things (side note: what an awesome example of how marriage reflects Christ's love for the church!).

I don't just want to have authentic fellowship with my husband though. As amazing as he is, he doesn't fulfill every relational need I have. As I've mentioned in previous posts, I fully believe we were created for community, and that includes people outside of my little family! Which reminds me of my high school small group. Starting out our group didn't know each other that well and we were somewhat awkward together, offering safe cookie cutter answers to discussion questions, until one courageous girl confessed to cheating on a test at school. The vulnerability that she showed making that confession spread around the group and we all began to open up to each other and really pull into a deep fellowship with one another. And to this day, that time in my life was one of the most intense times of spiritual growth for me and I contribute much of that growth to my experience in that small group. An experience which would not have been the same if we had not allowed the light to shine on our shortcomings and supported each other in allowing Christ to overcome those sins in our lives.

It is extremely scary to open up to others and allow parts of you to show that you aren't necessarily proud of. It takes a lot of courage because the possibility of harsh judgement and rejection is always a concern (at least for me). And I do think that it is wise to be discerning about who we choose to be vulnerable with, but that is a whole 'nother can of worms. However, in my experience, opening up to others generally comes with great blessing, like the experience of true fellowship!

Furthermore, God promises to forgive me and cleanse me from my sins when I walk in the light and own up to my shortcomings. I think it is significant to note that in this passage walking in the light (verse 7) and confessing (verse 9) precede forgiveness. I have to acknowledge my shortcomings before God will forgive me and cleanse me from them.

I regularly acknowledge that I am a sinner and ask for God's forgiveness which I think is probably minimally sufficient. But I know I would learn so much more if I were to be more specific in my requests for forgiveness. Sometimes I (very wrongly) think, "well, actually I've been pretty good lately... I can't really think of anything specific to ask forgiveness for... but I know I'm not perfect so I'll just ask for a 'blanket' of forgiveness anyway." And oh boy was verse 10 convicting for times like those! When I start feeling like "I can't really think of any sins" it most likely means that His word is not in me. Because guaranteed, when I spend time reading the word of God, I am always humbled and reminded of my utter dependence on His faithfulness and righteousness to forgive me!

So my goal for this week is to be intentional about walking in the light! I hope you'll join me so we can both experience true fellowship and God's gracious forgiveness.